Trump Departs White House to Find His Company in Shambles

Trump Departs White House to Find His Company in Shambles: Donald Trump returns to his company this week, to find it facing an ever-deepening crisis, with key properties bleeding revenue and its bankers, lawyers, and customers, all fleeing the company en masse, due to the Trump name becoming so toxic. Records indicate that Trump is facing more than $450 million in outstanding loans, including $290 million on his Doral golf course and his D.C. hotel alone.

Why, it sounds like Mr. Trump needs to undertake a major rebranding effort, if he ever wants to make a financial comeback. And, since just about every sane person here on Earth is abandoning him, perhaps it’s time he starts focusing on business ventures that match his “supporter’s demographics.” Now personally, I’d suggest he forget about all those fancy resorts, and start a new chain of trailer parks. Why, he could even name them “Trump’s Last Resorts.”

Next, it’s time to ditch all those money-losing golf courses of his, and open up a new red state network of “shooting ranges.” And, to add a little extra incentive, he could advertise that all the targets will feature life-like images of either Hillary, Hunter Biden, or perhaps even that libtard MSNBC logo itself. Hell, if that doesn’t pack them in, nothing will! Why, the possibilities seem almost endless, just like Trump’s legal problems.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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