Skip to main content

Pat Robertson Warns Viewers a New Ice Age is Coming


Pat Robertson Warns Viewers a New Ice Age is Coming:
  In response to the massive winter storm that wreaked havoc in Texas and surrounding states, evangelical leader Pat Robertson told his flock not to worry about “global warming, because a new “Ice Age” is upon us and “we need to make sure we have enough nuclear power, gas, and coal - to keep us warm when it really gets cold.”

Now, I’m not so sure he’s correct about another Ice Age, but the truth is, the weather in that area has been nearly as cold as Pat’s cold, cold heart - that’s for sure.  That said, the argument could be made that Pat Roberson is living proof, that what we’re really going through, is not an “Ice Age,” but actually an “Ass Age.”  That means that currently, about 45% of the nation, appears to be completely covered in assholes.


And, while Pat can be rather annoying at times, I do have to admit it’s quite entertaining listening to a “dinosaur” warning everyone - about a coming ice age.  Hell, as far as I can determine, the only reason this old fool is even still around, is because he’s been drinking the blood of virgins.  


Meanwhile, we’re all left on pins and needles, waiting for Pat and his team of biblical scientists, to figure out exactly where the LGBTQ community, libtards, abortionists, evolution teachers, George Soros, and Antifa - all fit into his final analysis of why God made this deadly storm happen in the first place.


Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence

Trump Commutes Old Pal Roger Stone's Sentence:   After declaring Roger Stone a victim of the “Russia hoax” perpetuated by the Left and its allies in the media, President Trump has commuted the three-year prison criminal sentence for the Republican operative and dirty trickster, who was due to report to federal prison on Tuesday after being found guilty of obstruction, witness tampering and lying to Congress. Good grief, is it my imagination, or has Trump actually just pardoned the real-life version of the Monopoly guy?  I mean, Stone is a villain right out of Charles Dickens.  Why, this is an act so corrupt, it’s almost enough to make Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin blush. Now, I’m no legal expert, but it appears what the Trump Administration is basically arguing is that - someone shouldn’t be punished for committing a crime which “they really should’ve gotten away with.”  And while that may sound a bit odd to the rest of us, that kind of thinking makes go...