Miami Beach Under State of Emergency as Spring Breakers Overwhelm City

Miami Beach Under State of Emergency as Spring Breakers Overwhelm City: When Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) reopened Florida just before spring break, there was a serious concern in the medical community that the state would become an epicenter for another wave of the coronavirus. Now, Miami Beach has been forced to declare a state of emergency after the city became overwhelmed with intoxicated revelers, packed shoulder-to-shoulder throughout the city.

The City of Miami Beach has issued a statement, complaining that when colleges send us their spring breakers, they’re not sending their best people. They’re sending their stoners, their alcoholics, and their Phys Ed majors. Why, I can remember back in the day, when we used to try and see how many people we could stuff inside a VW bug. Now, I guess they try and figure out how many people they can fit inside a jail cell.

Of course, the truth is, spring break in Florida has always been a magnet for morons and half-wits. And, who can really blame Gov. DeSantis - for wanting to keep that cherished tradition alive? Hell, after watching all the videos, the place kind of reminded me of “Animal House - on meth.” Now, let’s not forget to send out those thank you notes to Governor DeSantis, because without his leadership, this wonderful get-together could never have taken place.

And, apparently - Miami Beach residents aren’t the only ones really pissed off about all this. Word has it that Herpes, Gonorrhea, and STDs are also pretty upset that the coronavirus is getting all the attention this year, when Florida’s spring break is supposed to be exclusively their show. Meanwhile, when asked for his take on this whole Miami Beach situation, Dr. Fauci was overheard muttering “I see dead people.”

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