Trump to Launch New Social Media Platform in Coming Months

Trump to Launch New Social Media Platform in Coming Months: Trump communications strategist and political advisor Jason Miller, told Fox News’ Media Buzz this week that the former president will be back in two to three months with a brand new social media platform that he claims will “completely redefine the game.”

Gee, that sounds like a terrific idea - and one that’ll really catch on fast. In fact, I’m sure the FBI and other intelligence agencies will want to be some of the first to sign up. Of course, one can only hope that this new project doesn’t end up getting in the way of Mr. Trump’s golfing. We all know that the former president isn’t really a huge fan of long workdays.

But, just think of it - a new social network - just for liars, racists, insurrectionists, anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, homophobes, grifters, and half-wits. A place where a guy like Donald Trump will be free to talk about “how much he truly despises everyone - who isn’t him.” Yes, my friends, I’m talking about the new social media website - “WhiteFaceBook.”

Of course, the question does have to be asked, can someone actually run a social media platform from their prison cell? Who knows, but I have heard that Rikers Island has a pretty decent server. Not to mention, word has it that son-in-law Jared is busy coding the website as we speak, so you know this puppy is gonna run like a well-oiled machine. And, best of all - Mexico will pay for the firewall. He’s back!!!

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Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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