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New Findings Indicate Tyrannosaurs Likely Hunted in Packs


New Findings Indicate Tyrannosaurs Likely Hunted in Packs:  Challenging long-held assumptions that the iconic dinosaurs were solitary predators, new fossils unearthed in Utah's Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument indicate that Tyrannosaurs probably hunted in packs.  The new findings could provide fresh support for the Biden administration as it considers expanding the boundaries of this once-protected area that former President Donald Trump cut in half back in 2017.

Oh great - so now they tell me these monsters actually hunted in packs?  Oh how fun!  I guess that means that all my worst recurring nightmares - can now have a brand new theme.  Oh, so that doesn’t scare you at all?  Well sure, everybody thinks they’re a big tough guy, till a pack of these T-Rexes shows up down the block.  Hell, the way I look at it, about the only thing worse than being hunted down by a T-Rex - would be being hunted down by a whole pack of “We-Rexes.”


Of course, as any reputable paleontologist will tell you, these monsters have long been dead and gone and are no longer a threat, with the only known living relative being the Trumpasaurus.  And, while this species may look a bit different than its prehistoric ancestor, scientists say it still has that same classic “humongous body, tiny hands, and small brain.”  The main difference being that we now believe the Tyrannosaurs was a “social predator,” while the Trumpasaurus is a “sexual predator.”  


Of course, Republicans are now claiming these fossils were deliberately planted there in Utah by Democrats, simply to advance Biden’s agenda - and, in the interest of full disclosure - I must admit I’ve made some pretty darn good bucks over the years - burying fake dinosaur bones all over Utah for George Soros and the liberal elites.  And, believe me - those shipping costs aren’t cheap. 


Anyway, all I know is, whatever it was that took out this entire tyrannosaurs family, must have been absolutely horrifying to watch.  Now, the question is, just exactly what caused their untimely demise?  Was it an asteroid, an earthquake, a flash flood, or simply unrelenting Mormon missionaries - determined to convert these beasts?  Now, I don’t wanna sound insensitive to their loss, but these monsters were deadly, so don’t expect any “thoughts and prayers outta me!


Johnny Robish Comedy

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