USDA Calls Republican Claims of Biden Planning Meat Ban a Fabrication

USDA Calls Republican Claims of Biden Planning Meat Ban a Fabrication: The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) said Monday that there is absolutely no truth whatsoever to a story being circulated by The Daily Mail and Fox News, claiming that President Biden’s climate plan intends to limit the consumption of red meat by US citizens. Fox News host and former Trump advisor Larry Kudlow took it one step further, complaining that we’ll soon all be forced to drink “plant-based beer.”

Wow, forced to drink “plant-based” beer? Why, no wonder all Trump’s beer-drinking fans are “hopping” mad. Now, wait just a minute! Do you suppose Larry Kudlow really believes that beer comes from dairy cattle? Because that assumption would be udderly false.

Fortunately, Trump “patriots” have already begun stockpiling cattle in preparation for the upcoming beef ban. I can hear these brave souls now “if Biden wants to try to take away the source of my high cholesterol and coronary heart disease, he’ll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.”

In contrast to that, conspiracy theorists Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert believe Joe Biden and Bill Gates have secretly hidden “microchips” in the nation's beef supply, and are warning folks to avoid eating any “chipped beef.” They say not only is Biden coming for your hamburgers, he’s also gonna snatch your children and force them to undergo gender reassignment!

Now, some may complain that Republicans have absolutely no evidence to back up any of these claims. Well, the truth is - “they don't need no stink’n evidence. You see, these are people who enjoy spending their time getting really, really angry about things - that aren’t even real. That’s right, a Trumper will believe almost anything - except the truth.

Johnny Robish Comedy

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Gallup Finds Only 45% Of Republicans Believe In Science

As deadly new variants of the coronavirus are spreading rapidly around the globe, a disturbing new Gallup poll found American confidence in science has split heavily along party lines, with 79 percent of Democrats expressing confidence in science, while only 45 percent of Republicans say they believe in science. Really? Oh, for the love of Trump! And, from the looks of things, it also appears a lot of these same Trump Republicans don’t have much “confidence” in dental hygiene either. Don’t laugh, good folks like these have kept denture makes and dental implant centers in business for years. Why, what’s more American than a water glass with dentures soaking in it, resting on a night stand next to your bed? Besides, with the good folks like Tucker Carlson, Lauren Boebert (R-CO), Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), and Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) - keeping “patriots” informed about all the evils and dangers of COVID vaccines, who needs science? After a...

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