Skip to main content

Arizona Republicans Spinning Tale of 40,000 Fake Bamboo Ballots From Asia:


Arizona Republicans Spinning Tale of 40,000 Fake Bamboo Ballots From Asia:
  Arizona Republican “auditors” participating in a recount of the 2020 election in a last-ditch attempt to prove Donald Trump really won the election, report they’re now investigating “accusations” that 40,000 fake ballots were flown into Arizona from the southeast part of the world (Asia), and that those ballots were then stuffed into the ballot box.  Chief auditor John Brakey told reporters that in order to prove their origin, they’ve been photographing these ballots up close with their 5K cellphone cameras, to try and detect if there is any telltale bamboo in the ballot paper - which they claim would be a “dead giveaway.”

Good grief, bamboo ballots being flown in directly from Asia - to cast votes for Joe Biden?  Sounds like these Republicans have themselves a real “bamboozler” of a mystery to solve here.  And, to make matters worse, “some people” are even suggesting these fraudulent ballots were marked using “India Ink.”  Meanwhile, in an effort to avoid any appearance of racial animosity toward Asian people, Republicans say “auditors” are being encouraged to use chopsticks whenever handling these suspect ballots, just out of respect for where these ballots came from.   


Now, before you laugh and try and dismiss all this as complete nonsense, it’s important to remember that these Arizona “auditors” deserve every bit as much credibility as any Flat Earth “researcher” should get.  After all, these Republicans have pinpointed exactly where these fake ballots came from - “the southeast part of the world - Asia.”  Rather difficult to argue when confronted with that kind of precise geographical information - now isn’t it?  They’ll also tell you that just about anyone who knows anything about the region, will tell you that about the only paper they have in Asia - is made out of bamboo!  Further proof that these “auditors” really know their stuff.  


Now, Arizona isn’t alone in its election fraud concerns.  We’ve had very similar issues right here in California this past election.  Why, when I opened my 2020 mail-in ballot, I immediately suspected the damn thing was printed on “papyrus,” instead of good old American paper.  Now, if a ballot printed on “papyrus” doesn’t sound like some kind of a “pyramid” scheme, then I don’t know what the hell does.  All I can say is, leave it to George Soros to outsource election fraud to foreign countries.  Come on people - if there’s fraud that needs to be committed, let’s “hire American!”


Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War:  In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.”   You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!”  In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence.  They don’t teach you that in law school.   Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.”  Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know.  After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu.  Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Elon Musk Calls for the Prosecution of Anthony Fauci

Over the weekend, Elon Musk took to his Twitter account to call for the prosecution of infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, endorsing a convoluted, right-wing conspiracy theory that claims Dr. Fauci financed the COVID-19 pandemic.   Musk then proceeded to mock transgender people by adding “My pronouns are Prosecute/Fauci.” Gee, the “world’s richest right-wing troll” said what?  Now, I realize it's a really low bar, but I think we’ve finally found someone who actually knows less about pronouns - than Herschel Walker.   Not to be critical, but a good sign you may have a wee bit too much money on your hands, is when you blow 44 billion dollars, just to call people names. Oh sure, I’m positive Elon Musk, like any right-wing crusader, gets a real kick out of using his Twitter to “Own the Libs.”  OK, I get that, but just who does he suppose is actually buying his friggin' cars, anyway?   I’m pretty sure it isn’t Trump’s toothless, MAGA half-wits who are fillin...