Florida Republicans Pave the Way for Trump to Obtain Casino License

Florida Republicans Pave the Way for Trump to Obtain Casino License: After a controversial deal was negotiated by close Trump ally Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla.), Florida legislators have approved a legislative package that will dramatically expand gambling in the state as well as set the stage for former President Donald Trump to pursue a casino license for his ailing Doral Golf Resort. The deal and legislation also include language that bars the Seminole Tribe from ever opposing a casino at the former President’s Doral resort.

Perfect idea, given that the Trump family has such a flawless record managing casinos. Leave it to Florida to bend all the rules, just to allow the Trumps to bankrupt another gambling hall. Seems that in DeSantis’ Florida, all you have to do is “grease some palms” and you’ll get whatever you want. And, as we all know, Florida is well known for its “palms.” Hell, and while you're at it, why not really show your appreciation, and throw in a big bunch of juicy tax breaks too!

Of course, all this could become a wee bit complicated, in the event that Trump’s massive legal problems in New York resulted in a felony or two, given that most states do not permit convicted felons to be casino operators. Of course, in a place like Florida, being a convicted felon may actually be an asset - not an impediment. Gee, I wonder who’ll be bankrolling this lovely venture anyway? Russia? Turkey? Saudi Arabia? North Korea?

Call me clairvoyant, but I can see it all now, “The Donald J. Trump - Presidential Library, Casino, and Massage Parlor.” Oh hell, why stop there? May as well just go ahead and grant Trump a license for prostitution also. Nothing like “one-stop shopping” for all your vices. Anyway, one thing’s for sure, under the expert guidance of Gov. Ron DeSantis and the Republicans, the state is now well on its way to transitioning from “Florida” - into “Bananastan.”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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