Fox News Blames Chick-fil-A Sauce Shortage On Joe Biden

Fox News Blames Chick-fil-A Sauce Shortage On Joe Biden: The Fox News website has just published an investigative article, placing the blame for an anticipated Chick-fil-A sauce shortage - squarely on the shoulders of “Joe Biden’s America.” This, after Chick-fil-A announced that some of their restaurants may face a sauce shortage, due to the recent “Colonial Pipeline cyber attack.”

Wow, who could have imagined that Colonial Pipeline was also delivering Chick-fil-A sauce? Kind of scary to think that something of such strategic importance as Chick-fil-A sauce, could be affected by a bunch of hackers. Oh, the humanity! Hell, everyone knows when Trump was in charge - America had a tartar sauce surplus!

That said, I think I have a pretty damn good idea how this all comes down. See, Barack pulls right up to Chick-fil-A in this brand new George Soros “Antifamobile” and pops open the trunk - then Joe quickly runs out to the car and dumps his stash of Chick-fil-A sauce right into the trunk - and off they go. Some mighty slick operators these two!

Anyway, as devastating as this Chick-fil-A sauce shortage may be to Trump-Americans, I have to admit this isn’t gonna personally affect me very much at all. That’s because I always seem to go for the sauces that aren’t being delivered through petroleum pipelines - but that’s just me. I’ve always been kinda “picky” like that.

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Anti-Vax Newsmax Host Says Diseases are Supposed to Kill People

Conservative network Newsmax has been forced to “distance itself” from remarks uttered by host Rob Schmitt this week, who claimed that vaccines go "against nature" because diseases are "supposed to wipe out a certain amount of people,” and that vaccinations “unnaturally interfere with viruses' designs on killing people.” Wow, kinda looks like the “Schmitt” has really hit the fan over at Newsmax. So, they want to “distance” themselves from Schmitt’s remarks, do they? Gee, makes you wonder if the morons who run Newsmax know they actually have the option not hire anti-science nitwits like Schmitt as anchors in the first place? Not to worry though, should Schmitt get fired, I'm sure folks like Kevin McCarthy or Rand Paul would warmly welcome him to become part of their staffs. Of course, the truth is, what Schmitt is really promoting is “Social Darwinism.” Given that, I assume by the same logic he applies to vaccines, one may conclude that by warning people ...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog