New Research Finds Traffic Noise Affecting Bird's Singing Abilities: A new study conducted by Germany's Max Planck Institute for Ornithology, found that the constant traffic noise of modern-day life is interfering with how young birds learn to sing. Researchers say that the noisy settings in which birds now learn songs, frequently result in birds making “mistakes” while learning these songs, and that these “mistakes” often accumulate when the songs are passed on to the next generation of birds.
Entertainment lawyers say these so-called bird “mistakes” frequently result in “altered songs,” which can raise numerous copyright issues. So far, any attempts to prosecute the birds over these “altered songs” have failed, in part because the bird’s attorneys were able to successfully argue that the “noise issue” was really behind any “alteration” of these songs - and not any attempt at copyright infringement.
Legal analysts believe this study will only further serve to bolster the bird’s case - otherwise, it could either be “Bye, Bye Birdie,” or getting locked up in some cage in “Sing Sing.” Meanwhile, angry Republican legislators, fearing more environmental regulations on the part of the Biden Administration, are disputing the findings and have begun holding congressional hearings to get to the bottom of the matter, demanding researchers come in, testify and defend their “scientific” findings.
During the contentious hearings, the scientists who were asked to testify, vigorously defended the study’s conclusions, pointing out that their research is now showing that many mockingbirds can’t even carry a tune anymore, with some observed trying to pull off a Milli Vanilli - by simply lip-syncing those very songs which they’re required by law to sing. Word has it that many of the birds have been actually getting away with the scam, and have managed to build themselves up quite a little nest egg.
In addition, researchers report being totally shocked to discover that many of the birds in the study - who had originally begun as folk singers, were now singing “heavy metal power ballads” in the back allies of some of the city’s worst neighborhoods. In closing, the scientists asked skeptical legislators - if you don’t believe our data, then just ask yourself “when was the last time you can remember a songbird winning a Grammy?”
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