Skip to main content

Humpback Whale Swallows Lobster Diver Whole - Then Spits Him Back Out


Humpback Whale Swallows Lobster Diver Whole - Then Spits Him Back Out: 
Cape Cod lobster diver Michael Packard is very lucky to be alive.  He was on his second plunge into the ocean off the coast of Cape Cod, when all of a sudden everything went dark.  At first, he thought he was being swallowed by a great white, but then realized he was actually in the mouth of a humpback whale.  His partner Josiah Mayo watched the entire spectacle from their lobster boat, as the massive whale resurfaced to spit Packard back out into the water. 

Wow, all I can say is - it’s a damn good thing that whale isn’t into swallowing “seamen.”  Not to mention, his partner Josiah Mayo is pretty damn lucky too.  Sounds like when the whale ordered lunch, he must have told them to “hold the Mayo.”  I’ve read that humpback whales don’t eat humans, so my guess is that the whale must have mistaken Packard for some sort of a lobster roll.

Now, I may not know much about whales, but I do know that if this guy ever walks into a bar, he’ll never have to buy any of his own drinks ever again, for the rest of his life.  I also suspect that after such a close call, Packard will probably never wanna eat seafood again.  On the other hand, that’s no guarantee that seafood won’t wanna eat him.  I believe that’s what they call “squid pro quo.”


Meanwhile, Republicans say they just aren’t buying it and are blaming everything on Black Lives Matter, Antifa, and Joe Biden’s lax policies towards whale migration.  So, who’s right anyway?  Did the whale almost swallow the lobster fisherman, or is this just one whale of a tale?  Guess we’ll never know for sure - that is, unless the whale agrees to make a statement.


https://johnnyrobish.medium.com

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War:  In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.”   You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!”  In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence.  They don’t teach you that in law school.   Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.”  Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know.  After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu.  Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Trump Ordered by Jury to Pay E. Jean Carroll $83 Million

In his second trial in less than a year on the matter, a civil jury in Manhattan took only three hours to decide that disgraced former President Trump must pay $83.3 million in punitive and compensatory damages to rape victim and writer E. Jean Carroll in a drama that began in the dressing room of a New York City department store back in 1995. Gee whiz, $83 million?  Seems it turns out that even “when you're a star, they don't always let you do it.”  Anyway, so the Orange God used his big fat mouth to talk his way out of a $5 million judgment - and right into an $83 million judgment.  Now, that really takes some skill!  Talk about “The Art of the Deal!”  I’m totally impressed.  Why, its almost as if Mr. Trump and his militant, useless attorney don’t fully comprehend the basic point of “punitive damages.”   I mean, at this point, Trump defames Ms. Carroll so frequently, she’s almost gonna need to put up an electronic signboard to alert the court abo...