2020 GOP Senate Nominee Claims the Equality Act Will ‘Illegalize’ Jesus Christ

The Equality Act is a bill before the United States Congress, that would simply prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex, sexual orientation and gender identity in employment, housing, public accommodations, education, federally funded programs, etc. It doesn’t dictate what churches or religious people must believe, but that hasn’t stopped right-wing, QAnon, and flat Earth activist Lauren Witzke - the GOP’s failed 2020 Senate candidate from Delaware - from going on Alan Jones’ InfoWars and claiming that the bill will “illegalize Jesus Christ” and “categorize the Scripture as hate speech.”

Well, given her stance on immigrants, I can’t imagine why she’d ever object to anyone “trying to illegalize Jesus Christ.” I mean, by her standards - isn’t Jesus basically just another “illegal immigrant” from the Middle East? So, what’s the problem? Why, if you don’t believe me, then try telling some border patrol agent “but, but, I’m the son of God” - and see how far that gets you.

The fact is, she and her pals were telling everyone way back during the election that if Biden won, he would immediately outlaw Christianity, heterosexual sex, abort all fetuses, put a tariff on prayer, confiscate all guns, and make all right hand turns on a red light punishable by death. Of course, her concerns about the Equality Act have nothing to do with any of that. She doesn’t like the Equality Act for one simple reason - she’s opposed to EQUALITY.

Johnny Robish Comedy

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump: Just days after it was reported that the former owner and founder of the infamous Florida day spa busted in a high-profile prostitution ring attended President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party, a new report has surfaced that the same Li Yang is also running a company that sells Chinese clients access to President Trump and members of his administration. Which may be true, but word on the street has it that a lot of customers are quite upset after they paid extra for the “Presidential Package” - only to discover just how puny that package really is. Of course, spa owner Li Yang will argue that she was simply trying to offer Trump and his Chinese business partners a “helping hand.” Very slick! I mean, these are the kind of schemes that I bet would make even John Gotti envious. Well, Trump did promise during the campaign that he would run the count...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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