Skip to main content

Lawsuit Claims Subway Tuna is Chicken, Pork, or Beef Parts - Not Tuna


In an amended third lawsuit filed this year, the ongoing Subway tuna sandwich legal debacle is back on again.  This time the plaintiff’s test results reveal that 19 of 20 tuna samples from Subway locations throughout Southern California had no detectable tuna DNA, with all the samples containing at least one other animal protein - such as chicken, pork, or cattle.  The suit alleges Subway misled customers into buying premium-priced food dishes, based on the misrepresentation that their “tuna products” contained only tuna.


Gee, hard to believe that a company that would add a material used to make “yoga mats” into their bread flour, would misrepresent what’s in their tuna ingredients.  Now, if I’m understanding this correctly, while it’s possible a Subway tuna sandwich might contain a minuscule amount of albacore, the rest is essentially what is commonly referred to as - “cat food.”  And, while this scam might have fooled some, I seriously doubt it would’ve gotten past Grump Cat (RIP).  


Anyway - now we’ve learned what they’ve been passing off as “real tuna” all this time, was actually just chicken, pork, or beef parts?  Wow, I have to say I’m really shocked!  Not because I didn’t already know Subway was run by crooks, but because those ingredients could at least be considered “actual food,” which is a helluva lot better than I what thought was in there.  Hell, I figured their tuna was just sawdust, with a little mayo mixed in for consistency and flavor.  


What I don’t get is, why try and pull off this scam in the first place?  I mean, how expensive can it be for them to just head over to Walmart or Costco, and pick up a case or two of some cheap canned tuna?  Yet, the greedy Subway bosses decide “ah, let’s go with cat food.”  Oh, well!  Hey, I got an idea, wonder if Subway might be able to distract everyone from this latest PR nightmare - by rehiring Jared?  After all, that kind of maneuver always seemed to work pretty well for Trump.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold:   Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.”  Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy!   One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal.  I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either.   But then again, what else is new?  After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests.  Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy:   After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy?  That’s one helluva threat!  Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!”  Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.”  Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone:  Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ”  And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead?  Who do they think they’re kidding anyway?  After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com