The pro-Trump streaming site Real America’s Voice interviewed MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell this week, who continued pushing his 2020 election fraud conspiracy, arguing that "We have enough evidence to put everybody in prison for life, 300 and some million people. We have that all the way back to November and December.” When asked by the host why that hasn’t happened yet, Lindell explained that he first had to “wait for evil to reveal itself.”
Well, when you consider the entire population of the US is only 332 million, that’s gonna have to be one helluva big prison. Hey, maybe Republicans can strike up a deal with Amazon, and instead of having to build a bunch of new prisons, how about just turning Amazon’s warehouses into forced labor camps? Hell, they’re practically that now, anyway. Then, to show how they’re more compassionate than Jeff Bezos, they could even allow the prisoners - to freely use the bathrooms.
Why, just think about it, with all the new prisoners, those “Special Penitentiary Edition MyPillow” sales ought to go right through the roof! The problem is, tens of millions of those folks Republicans plan to incarcerate, are going to be minors. And, as we all know - those Republicans do love minors. Hell, Congressman Matt Gaetz can testify to that - but he’ll probably plead the 5th instead. The question is, even with an ultra-conservative Supreme Court, how do you go about charging at least 40 million underage children - with “voter fraud?”
Now, some of you may ask, exactly what does he mean by “voter fraud?” Well, it seems, at least according to folks like Mike Lindell and Rudy Giuliani, “voter fraud” is defined as “when someone tries to vote Democrat.” Of course, we all know math isn’t one of Mike Lindell’s best subjects, but I think it might be rather difficult to prove over 300 million Americans need to be jailed for “voter fraud,” when only 159 million Americans voted in the first place.
The truth is, there are now millions of people who feel Mike Lindell is full of sheet, and refuse to buy his pillows. He’s literally driving his business into the ground, and spending money like a drunken sailor, trying to prove conspiracy theories nearly everyone knows are nonsense. Can his MyPillow business survive? Who knows, but I’m not bedding on it. Why, you’d think a caring relative would’ve had him committed by now, but after Ronald Reagan shut down most all mental health programs, most all psychiatric patients from that point on - ended up becoming “Evangelicals.”
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