Rudy Giuliani Called ‘Mastermind’ in Plot to Overthrown 2020 US Elections

The Washington Post reports that former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani was the “mastermind” behind an effort that resulted in five states using a fake slate of electors in an attempt to submit bogus election certificates to the Electoral College in the 2020 election - and all in plain sight. Giuliani actively promoted claims of “election fraud” on behalf of the former President, while attempting to convince state legislators to take steps to overturn legitimate election results.

Well, I do have to admit Trump was right all along about one thing - that there was massive election fraud this past election! What he “forgot” to mention was - he and his pals were the ones who were organizing it! The thing is, how far can you really expect to get, with a document that’s obviously as fake as a “rubber hot dog?” Not that any Trump supporter would ever be able to tell if it was a rubber hot dog. Why, if they couldn’t chew it, they’d just swallow the damn thing whole.

So, Rudy’s a “mastermind” eh? Who knew? Hell, Rudy’s such a pathetic drunk, I’d be totally shocked if he could come up with a cohesive plan to order pizza, let alone plan a coup d'état. Let’s put it this way, Rudy’s no “Goldfinger” or Dr. No. Besides, how could he have committed these crimes? I always thought vampires had to stay in their coffins during the day.

I guess that’s what Republicans get for leaving Rudy unsupervised. Not surprisingly, when the s**t started to hit the fan - Trump cut him off like a gangrene limb. Can anyone say “scapegoat?” My guess is, when he’s finally called in to testify, instead of “taking the fifth” like everyone else, he’ll instead “drink a fifth.” Why, a nice single malt scotch ought to do the trick.

Now, I’m no criminal lawyer, but I think if I were advising poor Rudy, the next time he flies back over to Eastern Europe to help launder some of that sweet Russian oligarch “dirty money,” I’d suggest it might just be a good time to consider flying off to some country that has no extradition treaty with the U.S - because back here, things are starting to look a lot like “Tutti frutti, G’bye Rudy!”

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform. Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate. Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?” Say it ain’t so! Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum. Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically. Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.” Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog