Sources Say Mike Pence May Be Cooperating With Jan 6th Committee

While it is already widely known that Mike Pence's former Chief of Staff Marc Short has been cooperating with the House January 6th Select Committee, sources close to former Vice President tell the Independent's US Congressional reporter Andrew Feinberg - that Mike Pence may already be quietly cooperating with the committee.

Well, this is certainly going to further piss off all those Trump sycophants and insurrectionists who tried to capture and hang the former Vice President last January 6th. I guess all I can say is “there’s always the necks time” guys. Hell, Pence’s testimony just might be the “lynchpin” to everything. And, had those insurrectionists had gotten ahold of him, both Pence and our democracy - would have been left hanging.

Now, word has it the insurrectionists tried to contact Pence via text on January 6th, texting him “Hey Mike, if you get this message, we’d love for you to ‘swing’ over by the Capitol, and ‘hang’ with us for a while.” Pence is said to have responded with “Forget it, I’m not gonna get roped into this!” Now, I realize a lot of you are thinking “all these puns are knot funny,” and “how about cutting out all the gallows humor.”

Besides, in Pence’s defense, and now that I think about it, it’s not likely he was really even in the loop, while this whole insurrection thingy was being planned and executed. After all, we know Pence’s only job in the Trump Administration was to occasionally simply stand there in complete silence - and “look Christian.” Why, evangelical voters just love it when politicians can pull off “looking Christian.”

Now, I’m sure many of you are asking, but what about his plans for 2024? Well, you can just forget about that, because Mike Pence’s political career is over - period! That’s right! It’s time for he and “Mother” to pack up, and head on back home to Indiana - to hold hands, and think “pure thoughts.” You see, some stories do have a happy ending. Now, come on people! Not THAT kind of “happy ending!”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members: President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.” That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him. You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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