Skip to main content

Tucker Makes Ted Cruz Walk Back Calling Jan. 6 a ‘Violent Terrorist Attack’


After Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) described the Jan. 6 riot as “a violent terrorist attack on the Capitol,” Fox News host Tucker Carlson took to the airwaves and viciously mocked Cruz and the idea that the storming of the Capitol was an “insurrection.” Realizing this may upset Trump’s base, Cruz then went on Carlson’s show begging for forgiveness and tried to walk back his remarks, but Carlson accused Cruz of both lying and trying to portray the MAGA protestors as terrorists.

Well, we already knew Cruz didn’t have the balls to defend his wife when Trump attacked her, but now we know that Ted Cruz “won’t even defend Ted Cruz.”  I mean, the poor guy finally says “one honest thing” in his life, and then he has to walk it back.  Hell, Ted Cruz was begging and whining so much on Tucker’s show, it had viewers screaming “Stop the Squeal!”


That said, it was interesting to see a sitting United States Senator humiliate himself on national television, all for the enjoyment of some Fox News cable TV blowhard.  Why, you can bet that the scolding Tucker gave him, might just be enough to send poor Ted off to Cancún again - to find a “safe space” to nurse to his hurt feelings.  And, should anyone try and give him more slack about Cancun, he can always blame the trip on his daughter again.


Now, my question is, why would Tucker all of a sudden be defending those folks who attacked the Capitol?  Especially, since he’s always claimed Jan 6 was a false flag attack, instigated by Antifa, BLM, and the FBI?  Why, this new stance he’s taking might confuse a poor, half-witted Trump supporter.  After all, Trumpers need to be fed simple lies, not elaborate tales, with complicated nuances in them.


Now, putting all that aside, you can always count on old Tucker to show 'em whose boss!  Don't let those damn RINOs in the GOP forget who the hell they’re really working for.  In the meantime, if anyone happens to come across Ted Cruz’s lost manhood - please mail it back to him.  Now, you won't need to send it in a large box, just taping it to the back of a small postcard should be just fine.


And, if that doesn’t do it, then police need to put out an APB for the scoundrel who took Ted’s manhood.  Unfortunately, this case may be a hard nut to crack, as there are just way too many suspects.  Now, I’ll be the first to admit I’m no Ted Cruz fan.  It’s just that he’s always kind of reminded me - of something that one might find, trying to eat its way out of a piece of rotten fruit.


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Takes Aim at McCain and Biden at Pre-SOTU Luncheon

Trump Takes Aim at McCain and Biden at Pre-SOTU Luncheon:  During a pre-SOTU luncheon with network anchors, President Trump took some cheap shots at the late John McCain, saying his book bombed and then Joe Biden - saying he hoped Biden will be his opponent in 2020 because Biden isn’t very smart.  Now, I have no idea how well John McCain’s last book sold, but isn’t being called “dumb” by Donald Trump - a little like being call “fat” by Chris Christie? New Study Finds Sunday Most Popular Day to Watch Porn:  According to a new study released by the world’s most popular porn site Pornhub found that the fewest amount of people watch porn on Friday, while Sunday turns out to be the most popular day to watch porn.  No surprise there.  Hell, everyone else is in church, you got the house to yourself - go for it! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Scientists Claim Yellowstone Volcano May Help End World Hunger:   Scientists from the Chicago-base...

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering:  Just days after President Biden announced his $1.8 trillion American Families Plan to expand federal investment in child daycare, higher education, employee leave, and much more, Republicans are launching a “cultural attack” on the plan, calling it “Lefty Social Engineering.” So, apparently to Republicans - affordable childcare and healthcare, debt-free education, and wages that people can actually live on - are all a communist plot?   A massive, diabolical conspiracy, designed to get votes - by improving peoples' lives.   Why, what a sneaky, underhanded way, to get people thinking about themselves and their families’ interests - instead of Antifa and Hunter Biden’s laptop! Republicans like Mitch McConnell added that if Congress were to implement Joe Biden’s proposals, it would be like “mortgaging our children’s future,” which they find totally unacceptable.  Unless, of c...

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...