Skip to main content

Alex Jones Asks DOJ for Immunity Deal in Exchange for Testimony About Jan 6th


The New York Times is reporting that conspiracy theorist and InfoWars founder Alex Jones has reached out to the Department of Justice, offering to cooperate with prosecutors investigating the January 6th domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol.  His cooperation would be in exchange for an immunity deal that would allow him to avoid being criminally prosecuted in exchange for telling federal prosecutors what he knows about the planning of the events that culminated in the January 6th riots.

Gee, kind of looking forward to hearing what explanation Jones is gonna give all his paranoid InfoWars fans about why he’s flipping and cooperating with that “Deep State” he’s been warning us forever.  Perhaps something like “Sasquatch made me do it” might work?  Of course, I suppose it really doesn’t matter what excuse he uses.  I mean, it isn’t like his listeners have a serious relationship with reality anyway.


Nevertheless, in a letter that lawyers for Jones delivered to Federal Prosecutors, Jones insisted that while he has done “absolutely nothing wrong,” he needs immunity before he will cooperate with prosecutors.  Oh, I see!  Jones needs immunity from being prosecuted for all the illegal things he “didn't do?”  Why, that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.


So, the question remains, will the Feds give this vile, pathological liar immunity?  I mean, everything out of his mouth is basically directed at a “Who's Who of Stupid.”  As an example of his propensity for bullshit, Jones has spent much of his career concocting conspiracy theories about “big tech.”  Yet the truth is without modern technology, Jones would be just another psycho handing out Xeroxed copies of “End Times” pamphlets at Greyhound Bus stations.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that!


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Takes to Truth Social to Spread ‘Roomer’ About Ron DeSantis

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Ordered by Jury to Pay E. Jean Carroll $83 Million

In his second trial in less than a year on the matter, a civil jury in Manhattan took only three hours to decide that disgraced former President Trump must pay $83.3 million in punitive and compensatory damages to rape victim and writer E. Jean Carroll in a drama that began in the dressing room of a New York City department store back in 1995. Gee whiz, $83 million?  Seems it turns out that even “when you're a star, they don't always let you do it.”  Anyway, so the Orange God used his big fat mouth to talk his way out of a $5 million judgment - and right into an $83 million judgment.  Now, that really takes some skill!  Talk about “The Art of the Deal!”  I’m totally impressed.  Why, its almost as if Mr. Trump and his militant, useless attorney don’t fully comprehend the basic point of “punitive damages.”   I mean, at this point, Trump defames Ms. Carroll so frequently, she’s almost gonna need to put up an electronic signboard to alert the court abo...
Post a Comment
Read more