Skip to main content

Ohio Republicans Pass 'Guns For Teachers' Law


Ohio Republican Gov. Mike DeWine has just signed House Bill 99 into law, permitting teachers to carry a gun to class after just 24 hours of firearms training, compared with the more than 700 hours previously required.  This is in contrast to the 180 hours teachers need to renew their teaching licenses.

Hell, I say forget arming the damn teachers, what they really need to do is arm all the kids.  Just think about it.  I mean, what could be more frightening for a potential school shooter, than to come face-to-face with 25 or 30 super hyped-up kindergarten kids, all packing fully-loaded Glocks?  Why, maybe instead of physical education, they could hold “High Noon” style shootouts in school hallways?


Now, you can call me old-fashioned, but I always assumed teachers were there to teach, not act as armed security guards.  Are we seriously expecting a 55-year-old biology teacher to go full Rambo on a shooter?  On the other hand, I suppose even teachers barely trained in handling weapons, probably couldn't do much worse than the cops did at Uvalde elementary school a little while back.


Of course, to Republicans - books are far more dangerous than guns.  They don’t seem to mind a world with school kids shouting to classmates, “Hey Tommy, cover me!  I’m headed to English class!”  But sure, 24 hours of gun training oughta do it.  Hell, Ohio requires 1800 hours of training, just to work as a friggin barber.  Of course, as we all know, guns can jam - so it might be a good idea to also consider offering classes in knife throwing.


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

 Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy:   After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy?  That’s one helluva threat!  Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!”  Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.”  Alth...

Trump Tells Hannity He Can Declassify Secret Documents With Just His Mind

During a recent interview on Fox News with Sean Hannity, former president Donald Trump tried to defend stashing extremely sensitive classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago resort by saying he was the president, and the president can declassify, simply by “saying its declassified.”   Trump further added that “there doesn't have to be a process - there can be a process, but there doesn't have to be.”   Trump then told Hannity that if you're the president of the United States, you can actually declassify something “by just ‘ thinking’ about it.”   Oh, my word!  You mean to tell me Trump actually thinks he can declassify the government's most guarded secrets, simply by “thinking about them?”  Now, not to be critical, but it sure sounds like someone has been spending way too much of their spare time binge-watching old episodes of “I Dream of Jeannie.”  I mean, about the only thing he left out was that he also sprinkled the documents with “pixie dust!” This...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com