As New York City police investigate the circumstances under which Ivana Trump was found dead at the bottom of a flight of stairs, Donald Trump is already busy fundraising off his ex-wife’s tragic death. In a post on his social network “Truth Social,” the former president calls her a “wonderful, beautiful, and amazing woman,” before finishing his message with a fundraising plea - asking everyone to “Donate to Save America.”
Well, all I can say is, what took him so long? I mean, she’s been dead for several hours now. Come on Donald, pick up the pace! Now, not to sound cynical, but if he thought she was so “wonderful, beautiful, and amazing,” why the hell was he screwing around with other women? I mean, this is a guy who took off to play golf as his brother lay dying. But I get the fundraising, he’s thinking “What the heck, she’s already dead, right?” The point is, never let an opportunity for self-enrichment go to waste. It’s kind of like - “In lieu of flowers, the family requests you send cash.”
Anyway, so the police are now investigating why Ivana was found dead at the bottom of a staircase? Well, I’m certainly no detective, but I do know that no investigation into any misfortune in the Trump family would be complete, without first determining exactly where Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and Hunter Biden were at the time of the tragedy. Of course, there’s always the possibility it was simply an accident. I mean, she could have just “accidentally” tripped over Hunter Biden’s laptop as it was setting at the top of the stairs.
I’ll tell you what, all this intrigue is almost enough to make old Rudy Giuliani grab a 5th of Old Grand Dad, and head out on a three-day bender. Hell, I’d join him myself, but I have a colon hydrotherapy appointment that I’d really hate to miss. Ironically, even Steve Bannon admitted the idea of Trump fundraising off of his ex-wife’s death made him feel dirty. So much so, that he almost took a bath - but then he had second thoughts. Meanwhile, Melania was spotted again in her trusty old jacket. You know the one - “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?”
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