Arizona Judge Reinstates Civil War Era Abortion Ba

In an extremely controversial move, Arizona Pima County Superior Court Judge Kellie Johnson has lifted a 50-year-old injunction on an 1864 civil war-era state law that had been in place before Arizona was a state. That law puts a near-total ban on all abortions in the state.

Smart move Arizona! Because there is nothing 21st-century Americans want more than for politicians to bring back oppressive civil war-era laws. You know, laws written before women even had the right to vote and were still legally considered to be just property. The idea of disenfranchising over half the population should prove extremely popular. Hell, I’m sure this ruling has giddy Arizona politicians thinking, “Hey, maybe it’s time to revisit that whole ‘slavery thing’ again.”

That said, I suppose extreme right-wing judges resurrecting civil war-era legislation shouldn’t be all that shocking, considering Justice Alito went back a full five centuries in his writing on the Dobbs decision to find something to help him justify overturning Roe. No big deal. What’re a few centuries among friends? You see, when these Republicans tell you “they wanna take the country back,” they aren’t kidding! They wanna take it WAYYYYY back!

I mean, rulings like this are almost enough to make Iran’s “Morality Police” jealous. Now, if Republicans can just find a way to get rid of those pesky 13th and 19th amendments, they’ll be on their way to their vision of a White Christian Fascist Theocracy. Is there any good news among all this depressing nonsense? Well, yes, of course! At least Republicans and Judge Kellie Johnson haven’t as yet reenacted the Witchcraft Act of 1604, and that should count for something.

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GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold: Rep. Justin Amash (R-Mich.), has become the first Republican congressman to publicly state that, based on the Mueller Report - the President “engaged in impeachable conduct.” Rep. Amash further added that Attorney General Barr “deliberately misrepresented” the Mueller Report’s findings to congress and to the American public. Oh boy! One can only imagine the 3 AM tweet storm that’s gonna emanate from Trump’s porcelain throne over this level of betrayal. I’ll tell you another thing, disloyalty of this magnitude to the Cult of Trump isn’t likely to set well in America’s trailer parks either. But then again, what else is new? After all, Republicans have never viewed reality as being in their best interests. Now, I have no idea how all this is gonna finally go down, but I do know one thing - Justin Amash is definitely not gonna get an invite to Donald Trump's next wedding....

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy: After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy? That’s one helluva threat! Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!” Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.” Alth...

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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