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Beyond Meat COO Arrested After Biting Off the Tip of a Man’s Nose


Plant-based meat substitute producer Beyond Meat’s Chief Operating Officer Doug Ramsey has been arrested in Fayetteville, Arkansas, on charges of terroristic threatening and third-degree battery after getting into a road rage altercation during a parking garage fender-bender, and biting off the tip of another man's nose.

Holy cow!  Wait a minute!  So, he gets in a “beef” with another driver, and bites off his nose?  Since when did cannibalism become a vegan choice?  Wonder if the judge will ask if his victim’s nose “tasted like chicken?”  Guess we can only hope Ramsey doesn't have a son named “Stew.”  All I can say is, this kind of behavior could make Beyond Meat’s stock take a huge “nose dive.”  Hell, if this keeps up, Beyond Meat’s gonna have to come out with a new product line called “Beyond Noses.”


So, what’s up with this multi-millionaire biting off some guy’s nose over a silly fender bender?  I mean, who the hell does he think he is, Mike Tyson?  Then, after he gets released from jail, he decides to go out for a “bite to eat!”  He even told reporters waiting for him outside jail “don’t get too nosey!”  Not surprisingly, Beyond Meat is looking for a new COO.  Guess you could say Doug Ramsey’s new job classification is now “Beyond Employable.”


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