Trump Lawyer Jenna Ellis Says Club Q Victims are Now Burning in Hell

Former Trump lawyer Jenna Ellis, who represented the former president in his failed attempts to overturn the 2020 election, told her podcast audience of “The Jenna Ellis Show” that the five victims who were murdered in the Colorado Springs Club Q massacre - are now burning in Hell. Ellis added that “there is no evidence at all that they were Christians. So, assuming that they were not, that they had not accepted the truth of the gospel of Christ and affirmed Jesus Christ as the lord of their life, they are now reaping the consequences of having eternal damnation.”

Why, what a touching, lovely, sweet Thanksgiving message! The way I see it, the only thing missing in her Thanksgiving blessing, was an attack on Hunter Biden and his laptop. Gee, who knew “God” had turned the “reins of judgment” over to Jenna Ellis? Now, if I understand Jenna’s Biblical interpretations correctly, Christianity is now transitioning away from the antiquated "Jesus Saves,” to more of a "Jesus Hates,” then to “Jesus Damns,” and finally to "Jesus Tortures your ass for eternity.” Now, that’s some pretty heady stuff, if you ask me! I wonder, could all this talk about God’s hate and anger be true, or could it be Jenna has just been exposed to way too many of Rudy Giuliani’s nasty farts?

Now, what I find kinda odd, is just how intensely interested these Christian Nationalists seem to be with everyone else’s sexuality. Seems Jenna must have forgotten when the Lord hath commanded his disciples to “Mindeth your own fucking business, bitches!” Or, maybe it was “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Anyway, it was one of those catchy phrases. Not to be critical, but I don’t think it’d be huge a stretch to assume most rational folk’s idea of hell would be something like “spending an eternity in the company of Jenna Ellis.” Personally, I don’t believe in hell, but if I did - I would suggest that by making these vile and disgusting remarks, she just threw a few more logs on her own damn fire.

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location: The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting. Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts. I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property? Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members: President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.” That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him. You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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