MAGA Politician George Santos Admits ‘Embellishing’ His Resume

After two New York Times reporters broke the story that just about everything we know about Congressman-elect George Santos was a big lie, the incoming Congressman admitted in two interviews to "embellishing" parts of his resume, but added that he still intends to be sworn in at the start of the new Congress on Jan. 3rd.  Santos told the New York Post that “My sins here are embellishing my resume.  I’m sorry.”

Why how dare they question the integrity of a bonafide Bowling Green Massacre survivor?  Besides, what’s the big deal, anyway?  Everyone knows those nasty libs are always misquoting Republicans.  For example, he said he was Santos Claus, not Santa Claus!  Or, like when he claimed to have had a Jewish mother, and his grandparents were survivors of the Nazi regime.  Santos now says “I never claimed to be Jewish,” adding “I am Catholic.  Because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background, I said I was `Jew-ish.”  Well then, since he’s only “Jew-ish,” I wonder if that means he’s allowed to eat “pork-ish?”

That said, they’ll be folks who are gonna attack him for all those big lies he told and demand that he resigns from Congress.  Perhaps, but at least he can find comfort in knowing he'll always have that Heisman Trophy he won playing football for that college he lied about attending.  Frankly, I think his biggest mistake was making his big “reveal” with the New York Post.  He should have done it over at the Four Seasons Landscaping.  After all, that’s where the pros go to lie their way out of things!  And, why settle for just “Congressman?”  Why not just claim you were elected President of the United States?

Now, I realize people always say “all politicians are liars,” but this George Santos fellow really “hits it out of the ballpark.”  Hell, he’s wearing glasses in some of his pics.  How do we even know those are real glasses, and not just frames with no lenses?  Of course, Republicans will come to his defense, claiming “Santos lied his way into office - fair and square.”  Or, as Santos might tell you himself, “Look, we all do stupid things in life, now let me do stupid things in Congress.”  Even with all his faults, at least Santos never claimed to be the one “who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop,” or “the ram in the Rama Lama Ding Dong.”  And damn it, that ought to count for something people.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy