Texas Republican Angry that Folks Want More than ‘Thoughts and Prayers’

The Washington Post reports that investigators say the gunman who opened fire on an outlet mall in a Dallas suburb on Saturday, killing at least eight people, had an apparent fascination with white supremacist or neo-Nazi beliefs that are now being examined by investigators as a possible motive for the attack. While a motive has not yet been released, authorities say a patch on the killer’s chest that reads “RWDS” is an acronym for Right Wing Death Squad. This is the second mass killing in Texas in just a week. Meanwhile, Republican Rep. Keith Self, who represents Allen, Texas, appeared on CNN and offered more "thoughts and prayers.” When CNN's Paula Reid pointed out that “most Americans demand more concrete actions,” an offended Rep. Self claimed that “those are just people who don’t believe in almighty God, who is absolutely in control of our lives.”

Okay, but if its actually almighty God who is “absolutely in control of our lives,” then how come everything seems to be Joe Biden’s fault? Well, at least he didn’t blame it all on BLM or Antifa. Of course, the truth is that Republican politicians don’t see protecting the general public as part of their job description at all. Why their only job is simply to complain about things. Their feeling is basically, “Sure, a lot of innocent people are getting killed, but on a positive note - at least they’re not getting exposed to “Critical Race Theory” anymore.

So, if I’m understanding this correctly, we’ve been paying these Republican congressmen and women $175,000 a year - just to “pray our problems away?” What a great gig! You see, the way it works is if you’re a Republican, you believe “life begins at the very moment of conception - and it ends looking down the barrel of an AR15 semiautomatic rifle.” Of course, any good Republican will be the first to tell you that the “real” threat to America is not guns, but things like “Drag Queen shows.” Oh really? Well, if that’s the case, “how many people have died watching a “Drag Show?”

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Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s. She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden. The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.” There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed. In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls. Okay, so now let me get this straight. A young Mexican fema...

GOP Lawmaker Says Trump’s Conduct Crosses Impeachment Threshold

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Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone

Nigerian President Denies Dying and Being Replaced by a Clone: Speaking at a recent conference, Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari denied claims that he had died and been replaced by a Sudanese impostor or a clone, breaking his silence on a rumor that has been circulating on social media for months. Wait a minute, I think I saw that movie - “ Weekend at Muhammadu’s. ” And, if I remember correctly - wasn’t it was a Sudanese actor who played the lead? Who do they think they’re kidding anyway? After all, I wasn’t born yesterday! Now, of course, I’m sitting out here in California - so I have no sure-fire way to confirm or deny all these rumors, but I do know one thing - if you can’t believe Nigerian e-mails and social media posts, what the hell can you believe? https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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