Rolling Stone reports that Kandiss Taylor, the Christian Nationalist “Jesus, Guns, and Babies” podcaster, as well as a GOP Georgia gubernatorial candidate in 2022 and newly-appointed Georgia Republican Party district chairperson, is taking a lot of slack for things said in her recent interview with two fellow flat earthers. In response, Taylor claims she’s “not so much a flat earther” but is just sick and tired of “seeing globes everywhere.” She further adds that “Everywhere I look there's globes - and that's what they do to brainwash.” She quickly points out that “All the globes, everywhere, I turn on the TV, there’s globes in the background … Everywhere there’s globes. You see them all the time; it’s constant. My children will be like ‘Mama, globe, globe, globe, globe’ — they’re everywhere.”
Well, I guess this pretty much explains why Trump’s MAGAs are always complaining about the “Globalists.” Anyway, from the land of Marjorie Trailer Greene and Herschel Walker, we now have Kandiss Taylor and her “Jesus, Guns, and Babies” podcast, warning us that “globes are everywhere.” I guess someone had to put that out there, so why not a Republican Party official?
Now, in all fairness, I do kind of get her point about “globes are everywhere” because I often feel the same way about “cars and trucks.” I mean, every time I’m running a little late, and I get on the Santa Monica freeway - all I see are millions of cars and trucks - everywhere! I think, HOLY SHIT, this has to be some kind of a conspiracy.
Anyway, according to Ms. Taylor - the earth apparently is flat because that’s the way Jesus wants it. Now, does anyone know if that means all the planets are flat, or is it just the Earth? To be honest, I never quite understood all this flat-earth conspiracy stuff. I mean, if a sphere-shaped earth is really just a big lie that is part of a “global conspiracy,” then what the hell is the end game here? To sell more globes? And, if the earth really is flat, why is it no one has ever published a photograph of the edge?
Of course, Ms. Taylor would inevitably respond by asking, “If the earth is a globe, then why are maps flat?” Well, all I can say is I’ve met an awful lot of strange people in my time, but I’ve never met a “Globaphobe” before. Who knew globes were “Woke?” About the only thing missing in her argument is her pointing out how she has friends from “all around the globe” who agree with her. That said, who am I to judge? After all, I still haven’t gotten over being told the moon isn’t made of “green cheese.”
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