Skip to main content

Hateful Christian Nationalist Pat Robertson is Dead - A Short ‘O-bitch-uary’


Right-wing televangelist and former Republican presidential candidate Pat Robertson has finally died at age 93.  Born the privileged son of conservative US Senator A. Willis Robertson, Pat Roberson graduated from Yale Law School but made his fortune as a fire-breathing religious grifter.  His special talent was blaming all of the world's problems on women, gays, people of color, abortion, and liberals - and then managing to tie all that into his twisted interpretation of the Christian Bible.  He recently prayed for the death of Jimmy Carter.  Over the years, Robertson racked in millions upon millions of dollars by espousing racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, and Islamophobic bigotry over the airwaves for decades on his “700 Club.”  Robertson was one of the pivotal reasons the “Christian Right” became central to the Republican coalition, and through his efforts - the hopelessly divided political world we live in today is largely his creation.

Oh, so this is how “God” takes out the garbage?  My, my!  You mean to tell me that Donald Trump was charged with violating the “Espionage Act” and Pat Robertson croaked - all on the same day?  Damn shame, too.  He's going to miss the “Pride Parade.”  Anyway, all I can say is, “Well done, Grim Reaper!”  I mean, how fitting is it that this vile, disgusting LGBTQ+ hater finally “bought the farm” during “Pride Month.”

So, the old fuck, who regularly blamed 911, earthquakes, hurricanes, AIDS, and COVID on feminists, abortion, gays, and liberals - finally died at 93.  I guess that means there must be some truth to the old phrase, “Only the good die young.”  As some wiseacre once remarked, “If hell were real, Pat Robertson would be hosting the 700-Degree Club right now.”  In fact, this Robertson was such a vile creature; you can bet that after seeing him walk through the gates of hell, Satan said, “Excuse me, I gotta take a long shower!”

Interestingly enough, I just noticed that with Robertson’s death, the value of the 700 Club has been marked down, and from this point on will now be known as the 499.95 Club.  That said, let’s not get too jubilant over this villain’s demise.  After all, this is the type of dude who is just evil enough to somehow figure out a way to come back as a flesh-eating bacteria.  As for me, all I can think to say is, “RIP Pat - may you Rust in Piss.”

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War:  In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.”   You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!”  In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence.  They don’t teach you that in law school.   Now, is it jus...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Returns to Do White House Coronavirus Briefings Solo

Trump Returns to Do White House Coronavirus Briefings Solo:  Three months after he abandoned the daily virus briefings and attempted to turn the country’s attention to what he described as the “great American comeback,” President Trump took the lectern in the White House briefing room alone on Tuesday, free to say whatever he wanted without any distractions from the usual bunch “sciencey nerds” behind him. And, in a rare moment of candor, Trump reluctantly admitted that the spread of the coronavirus will likely get worse before it gets better, and that people should probably wear masks.  Well said Mr President!  The fact is, most of us are already rather optimistic things will begin to get better - sometime after November 3rd. Ironically, now that Trump is finally admitting the virus is spreading fast and that people should wear masks, you’d think most of those armed militia thugs, whom Trump egged on to to out and “liberate” those Democratic run states from t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.”  Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know.  After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu.  Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...
Post a Comment
Read more