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Lauren Boebert Says God ‘Directed Her' to Impeach Joe Biden


During an interview on the Christian nationalist Victory Channel's Flashpoint program, Colorado representative Lauren Boebert claimed God told her to introduce articles of impeachment against President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris.  Boebert further added that "I'm not calling myself an historic figure, but.....All glory to God. This is grace. This is God's empowerment and His ability and staying grounded, rooted in the Word of God, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

Wow, I don’t know about you guys, but that sure convinced the hell out of me.  I’m just not sure of exactly what.  Now, I know a lot of you folks just automatically dismiss everything Boebert says by claiming she’s just a “crackpot,” but I’ve honestly never felt she was a crackpot.  In fact, I’ve always seen her as more of a “crack ho.”  But that’s just me.  What I don’t get is if God really wants Joe Biden impeached, then why the hell didn’t He just prevent him from getting elected in the first place?

Meanwhile, its being reported that Boebert’s main Christian nationalist competitor Marjorie Taylor Greene - who has drafted her own Biden impeachment papers - is really pissed at Boebert for copying her impeachment resolution, calling Boebert a “bitch” and a “copycat.”  Who knew the US House of Representatives was just like high school?  Now, the way I understand it, the only proper way for two devoted NRA sycophants like Greene and Boebert to settle a dispute like this -  is with firearms.  Its just the right (wing) thing to do.

Frankly, my question is, why is it that the voices these “prophets” hear somehow always manage to direct them to do stupid, insane shit?  I mean, Boebert married a dude AFTER he was convicted of exposing himself to teen girls at a bowling alley.  Hell, if she’s getting her messages directly from God, I assume that means God must have wanted her to choose a husband who exposes himself to minors.  They say, “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” but that seems a bit beyond “mysterious.”

Of course, folks like Boebert and Greene have a slightly different take on the traditional Christian “Holy Trinity.”  Instead of “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost,” its more like “The Money, the Power, and the Attention.”  And attention she’s getting.  Many people say, “There’s just no ‘beginning’ to her talents and abilities.”  Oh really, because Greene and Boebert do have talent.  I mean, they’ve somehow managed to turn a once dignified US House of Representatives - into one of the sleaziest episodes of the Jerry Springer show, and that should count for something.

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