Kellogg’s Sued by Former Trump Advisor Stephen Miller Over ‘Gay Pop-Tarts’

The New Republic reports that former Trump White House advisor Stephen Miller and his litigious band of alt-right lawyers called “America First Legal” have filed a lawsuit with the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission against Kellogg's over a limited edition Pop-Tart commemorating LGBTQ Pride. The group claims, "Kellogg's is yet another big corporation that will break the law and hurt its shareholders' interests to serve the twisted woke ideology of its officers and directors.”

Gee, if you wanna talk about being “Woke,” this dude is literally suing a toasted pastry box. Can you imagine being so whacked-out that you’re actually threatened by a rainbow-colored Pop-Tarts box? All I can figure is he must have caught his wife in bed with a box of them. Now, the question is, where does it all end? I mean, if he’s suing Pop-Tarts, can Fruit Loops be that far behind? Come on! Cinnamon Toast Crunch are cannibals, and he's going after Pop-Tarts? And don't even get me started about Fruity Pebbles. Frankly, I think Stephen Miller might actually be a “Poop-Tart.”

Not to mention the milk Miller uses on his breakfast cereal every morning is “homogenized.” Talk about “sexual implications.” Gee, seems like just yesterday when conservatives were crying about all the “frivolous lawsuits” and the need for “tort reform.” Funny how things changed in the Trump era. Besides, what could be more benign than a rainbow-colored Pop-Tarts box? Word on the street has it that the Bud Lighters and the gay M&Ms think the Rainbow Pop-Tarts are just a “bunch of squares.” That said, isn’t it funny how for a bunch of people who despise LGBTQ folks so much, nobody seems to think about gay sex more than people in the Republican Party.

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