Trump Leads Chorus of Conservative Cheers Over US Women’s Soccer Loss to Sweden

Former President Donald Trump led a chorus of conservatives who cheered this past Sunday after the U.S. women's soccer team got knocked out of the World Cup by Sweden. Posting on his “Truth Social,” Trump wrote, "The 'shocking and totally unexpected' loss by the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team to Sweden is fully emblematic of what is happening to our once great Nation under Crooked Joe Biden,” adding that "Many of our players were openly hostile to America - No other country behaved in such a manner, or even close. WOKE EQUALS FAILURE. Nice shot, Megan, the USA is going to Hell!!! MAGA.” The “Megan” reference was about US star player Megan Rapinoe with whom Trump has maintained a long-running grudge after she refused to accept an invitation to see him in the White House after leading her team to victory in the Women's World Cup four years ago.

Wait a minute! The guy who has just racked up 78 felony charges against him - including trying to violently overthrow the results of a national election - said what about patriotism? So, now he and fellow conservatives are cheering AGAINST our US team because some team members were mean and said they aren’t big fans of Donald Trump? Ahhh, the poor babies! And he’s blaming Joe Biden for the loss? Gee, who knew Joe Biden was coaching the team?

Of course, its no surprise that Trump made a lot of people angry when he attacked America’s women’s team when they were defeated in the Women's World Cup. However, conservatives will immediately point out that Donald Trump really knows what he’s talking about here. And you know, I think they may be right. After all, if there is anyone on Earth who fully understands “losing,” its Donald Trump.

That said, and despite all the nasty things Trump said about them, I think the women on our US soccer team would be willing to forgive and forget. In fact, as a tribute to the former president, my guess is that many of those female soccer players would even be willing to kick his “balls” around the playing field a few times in his honor - that is, assuming anyone could even locate them.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Iowa Republicans Pass Bill to Repeal Child Labor Laws

The Republican-dominated Iowa Senate just passed a child labor bill that "allows 14-year-olds to work six-hour night shifts" and "allows 15-year-olds to work in plants on assembly lines moving items up to 50 pounds.” In addition, “16 and 17-year-olds will now be permitted to serve alcohol.” Good grief! Sounds like these fun-loving Republicans wanna make every day a “Bring your child to work day.” Well, I suppose they figured all those fetuses that aren’t getting aborted - gotta have something to do. “All aboard! Next stop, the 19th century.” Gee, I can hardly wait to see what’s next. Indentured servitude, debtors' prisons, poor houses? Hell, they may as well bring back the poor houses, given that its nearly impossible for regular folks to afford to buy a home or even rent an apartment these days. Anyway, now that Republicans have pushed this through, perhaps its time for patriarchal Christian fascists to begin working on other pet projects. You know,

Study Finds Habitual Nose Pickers Have Greater Chance of Contracting COVID

Researchers in the Netherlands found in a new, peer-reviewed study of hospital workers that people who pick their noses habitually have a three times greater likelihood of contracting COVID than those who don’t. Nearly 85% of those surveyed reported they picked their noses at least once in the previous month with varying frequencies. Gee, whiz! Now that’s some interesting news! Hell, now I'm all set for trivia night. That said, and if I’m understanding this correctly, this study conclusively proved that “most hospital workers pick their noses.” Who knew? Now, if you ask me, the REAL NEWS here has nothing to do with COVID. It’s that “a whole bunch of hospital workers actually admitted they pick their noses.” The funny thing is, there was a small group of those nose-pickers who were kind of bold about it all and proudly pointed out that, “The beauty of nose-picking is that each of us have two completely separate nasal cavities, so there’s never any waiting .” When asked which

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog