Skip to main content

Trump Now Peddling Gold Sneakers



At a rally this past weekend in Philadelphia, Donald Trump received quite a mixed reaction to his announcement that he’s now going to be selling “$399 Gold Sneakers” to his adoring fans, which surprisingly set off quite a bit of booing from his usually faithful audience.  Ever the snake oil showman, Trump tried to dismiss all the boos by simply saying, “Wow, there is a lot of emotion in this room.”

Oh my!  You mean after all the fines and losses in court, Trump has now been demoted from billionaire to shoe salesman?  And you say he’s been selling sneakers that look like they’ve been spray-painted gold?  Why, “bless his sole!”  Now, in his defense, word has been spreading around greater Trumpistan, that these golden sneakers are especially comfortable for those who may be suffering from those pesky “bone spurs.”

Gee, wonder where Trump’s getting his inventory from, anyway?  Naturally, we all know Trump can instantly tell he tell where to get the best “golden showers,” but who could have guessed he also knew where to get golden sneakers?  Wonder where he got the idea?  Did it come to him in a Moscow hotel room?  Wait!  It just occurred to me.  Trump’s in Philadelphia.  Maybe he stole the shoes from Rocky Balboa?

Now, what I don’t get is how these MAGAs, who are always whining about how the Biden economy is in such shambles that they can’t even afford to buy gas, but whenever Trump announces a new grift, these folks just open up their wallets like “price is no object.”  Funny how that works.  Hey!  I have a great idea.  Considering how much MAGAs worship the Confederacy - I think it’d be only fitting that they pay for their sneakers - with “Confederate money.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Mocks Honest Abe During His Dallas Rally

Trump Mocks Honest Abe During His Dallas Rally:  President Donald Trump once again shocked critics by mocking Abraham Lincoln during his latest rally in Dallas, telling followers he would never be as presidential as "Honest Abe Lincoln when he's wearing that hat," adding that to be presidential like Lincoln - "all you have to do is act like a stiff.”  He then proceeded to mimic “a stiff,” by buttoning his blazer, speaking in a monotonous voice, and claiming that someone as boring as Lincoln could never win Texas. Wait a minute, that’s just crazy!  You’re telling me Donald Trump can actually button-up his blazer?  Wow, who could have ever seen that coming?  Anyway, Trump’s definitely right about one thing, the word “honest” will NEVER be used to describe Donald Trump - or his presidency. Of course, trying to compare Donald Trump to Abraham Lincoln is simply ridiculous, no matter how you look at it.  I mean, you’d have to go back a helluva lot furt...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit

Donald Trump Sporting Slick New Hairdo for UK Visit:   US President Donald Trump is showing off a shockingly new slicked-back hairdo, as he prepares to meet with the Queen during his first official state visit to the UK. Good God?  What the hell is that all about?  Is he trying to bring back the mullet?  Either that, or he’s secretly planning on entering a Gary Busey lookalike contest as soon as he gets to London. My guess is, he’s trying to put on his best bohunk sexy look for his meetup with the queen.  One thing’s for sure, he now actually looks exactly like the greasy, mob slime ball he tries to act like.  Maybe he figures that if he ever does get impeached, when they come to get him, no one will be able to recognize him.  But hell, even if he does get impeached, he’ll have nothing to worry as far as getting a job.  I mean, what respectable La Vegas used car lot wouldn’t wanna hire a guy who looks like that? https://ww...