You've Got to Be Kidding?

Trump Sycophantic Jim Jordan Attacks Fauci Over BLM Protests:   During Friday’s House coronavirus hearings, hard line Trump ally Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), came right after Anthony Fauci with a series of extremely combative questions, such as whether he thinks the government should limit protests to help slow the spread of the coronavirus. Jordon further confronted Fauci, claiming that support for “Black Lives Matter” protests is "encouraging riots.”  Well then, no wonder Rep. Jordon is mad as hell.  After all, "encouraging riots” is supposed to be Donald Trump’s job - and we all know how hard it is to find good jobs these days. Now, I know Jordon’s critics are gonna claim Donald Trump has been holding large, crammed rallies, where hardly anyone wears masks - but, if you watched Fox News, you’d know that "no one’s ever contracted the coronavirus by attending a Trump rally.”   Well, of course, there’s Herman Cain - but let’s get real.  If Republica...

Trump Demands Coronavirus Bill Include White House Renovation Money:   With so many Americans out of work and struggling to make ends meet, the White House has been stirring controversy by demanding that the next “Coronavirus Bill” include $377 million, so the Trump’s can renovate the White House. Seriously?  The Trumps are really asking for $377 million, so they can remodel the White House?  Geez, besides being a helluva lot of money - and knowing the Trump style, do we really want to see this national heritage transformed into looking like some cheap, Versailles-themed, French bordello?   Hey, I got an idea!  Why not just let the good folks over at Earl Scheib?  Hell, they’ll paint the whole place for just $99.95.  That’ll save approximately $376,999,900.05.  Why, that’s nearly enough to commission another Trump portrait to hang on the White House walls.   Besides, what’s the point?  I hear-tell come January, there’s a ...

Trump Retweets Doctor Who Warns Women About Sex with Demons:   President Trump is receiving a lot of slack for retweeting posts from Houston pediatrician and Fire Power Ministries’ spiritual leader Dr. Stella Immanuel, who believes that endometriosis and other potentially dangerous gynecological conditions, are the residue of sinners dreaming about having sexual intercourse with incubus demons. Gee, is it just me, or is it starting to seem like all those wackos from way back in the day, who used call into late-night radio talk shows, now have all their own shows - all of which are now being faithfully followed by the President of the United States? You know, it sure seems like many of those hard-core evangelicals have an uncontrollable obsession with demons and being possessed by the devil.  Why, they just can’t seem to get the devil off their minds.  In fact, so much so - that they even elected him President back in 2016. In fact, while it may sound a bit...

Texas Man Hit by Ricocheting Bullet After Shooting Armadillo:   Police say an East Texas man spotted an armadillo on his property, grabbed his .38 revolver and opened fire on the animal, but one of the three bullets ricocheted back and struck him directly in the jaw. Good grief, I hope he’s gonna be alright - the armadillo that is.  Do you suppose there’s a possibility alcohol might have been involved?  After all, it’s fairly common knowledge, that armadillos can get rather nasty when they’re drinking.   In fact, word has it the armadillo had been taunting him with things like "do you feel lucky punk?”  Police say the man claimed he shot in self-defense, but authorities have determined the armadillo - was not armed.   When asked what the hell could he have been thinking - shooting at a defenseless armadillo, but the man would only say that about the only thing that was going through his head at the time - was the ricocheted bullet.  Not ...

Many Red States Restoring Gun Rights for the Mentally Ill:  Despite the ever-rising number of gun deaths in the United States, new data indicate that many red states have been increasingly restoring the right to carry firearms to people who’ve previously lost that right, due to serious mental illness.   Meanwhile, the NRA is strongly defending the move as “absolutely necessary,” pointing out that the last thing we need to be doing during these stressful times is leaving our nation’s mentally ill, completely defenseless against a much better-equipped, extremely well-armed - imaginary enemy.   The NRA further argued that providing these vulnerable citizens with needed weaponry is especially critical during a pandemic, when folks such as paranoid schizophrenics may not be receiving their medications as frequently as they normally do, thereby increasing the perceived threat against them - by at least tenfold. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Ivanka Trump Launches ‘Find Something New’ Career Campaign:   White House adviser Ivanka Trump, along with Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross - have decided to inform millions of unemployed people, that all they need to do to provide for themselves or their families, is to simply “Find Something New,” and the two have helped launch a website and an ad campaign to promote the idea. Well, I do have to admit, there’s certainly nothing quite like getting your employment advice from someone who’s gotten nearly everything they have through nepotism.  Now, in her defense, I suppose she really does mean well - you know, in a Marie Antoinette kind of way. And that, makes me wonder just how well Ivanka might do on one of those cognitive tests like the one her father just took?  Now, let’s see - your first word choices are “dog, cat, daddy, camera, and selfie.”  I believe that would match up pretty well with the term “clueless.”   Anyway, I guess at this poin...

President Trump Sends Out Well-Wishes to Ghislaine Maxwell:   President Trump offered well-wishes and sympathy for longtime Jeffrey Epstein companion Ghislaine Maxwell, whom he said he had met “numerous times over the years” and who is awaiting trial on charges she recruited underage girls for the financier Epstein and his clients to sexually abuse. Gee, is it just me who’s thinking only Donald Trump could politically get away with offering “well-wishes” to a child sex trafficker?  And, to think some folks believe Donald Trump has no capacity for compassion.  Why, it’s difficult to even imagine what a “big heart” someone would have to have in order to offer “well-wishes” to a known sex predator, who has just been arrested! Now, I understand there’s always gonna be those skeptics, who believe the President is actually trying to signal a potential pardon for Ms. Maxwell - assuming she’s willing to keep her mouth shut about everything she knows.  You know,...