You've Got to Be Kidding?

The Washington Post reports that during an October 2019 event at a Trump property, a hot mic video caught Matt Gaetz telling Roger Stone he'd likely be found guilty of the obstruction charges and other crimes he was facing, but assured Stone that “the Boss” would likely grant him clemency, even if he were convicted because "The Boss still has a very favorable view of you.”   Gaetz then explained to Stone how he was working on getting him a pardon, but was hesitant to say more backstage at the event "Since there are many, many recording devices around right now, I do not feel in a position to speak freely about the work I've already done on that subject." So, here we have a man charged with obstruction, witness tampering, fraud, and conspiracy, negotiating a presidential pardon from a guy serving on the House Judiciary Committee, who stands accused of child sex trafficking.  I mean, who could possibly have an issue with that? The thing is, it seems this band of...

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert went on Charlie Kirk’s podcast during the recent ultra-right Turning Point USA’s Student Action Summit, to claim that the same-sex marriage bill that just passed in the House "undermined masculinity.”   Boebert said that "I think the federal government should not be involved in marriage," adding that "My marriage between my husband is really between me and God, not between me and the government.” Now, Rep. Boebert claims that the recently passed House “Respect for Marriage Act” undermines “traditional masculinity,” but oddly enough, it didn’t appear to have negatively impacted Marjorie Taylor Greene - one way or the other.  Besides, we’ve recently seen what traditional “MAGA Masculinity” really looks like up close, by watching proud fist-pumping senator Josh Hawley’s 60-mile-an-hour dash through the Capitol hallways.  Man, it was a sight to be seen!     Anyway, Boebert tells Kirk "I think the federal government should not be in...

A chess-playing robot in Russia created quite a controversy while playing a 7-year-old opponent, a child who is one of the top youth chess competitors in Moscow.  The computer apparently became flustered during the match because its human opponent was playing too rapidly - so it reached out and grabbed the youngster's finger, snapping and breaking it.   Organizers as well as the computer manufacturer claim the boy acted too quickly after the robot's move, which caused the machine to “fail to reset.” Gee, you mean to tell me the friggin’ machine broke the kid’s finger because it “failed to reset?”  I mean, who the hell programmed that computer anyway - Tonya Harding?  Why, it’s a damn shame there wasn’t a “good computer with a gun” anywhere nearby.  All I can say is, while the damn thing was busy “resetting itself,” how about resetting the poor kid’s finger too?  Now, I hate to be a “robot shamer,” but that seems like the least it could do.   Of cou...

The Huffington Post reports Matt Gaetz (R-Fla) recently spoke at the ultra-conservative Turning Point USA’s Student Action Summit in Tampa, and got huge laughs and applause from the crowd when he asked “Why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions?”   Gaetz further added that “Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb.”   This isn’t the first time Gaetz has suggested pro-choice activists have trouble finding sexual partners.   In May, he tweeted "How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials, who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”   Well, I can see the Republican Party’s outreach to women voters is staying right on track this election cycle.  Of course, the truth is, you can take everything Matt Gaetz says about women’s appearances with a grain of salt, because ...

In a recent interview with Fox News, former First Lady Melania Trump claimed that during the January 6th Capitol insurrection, she was completely unaware of the violence going on, because she was “busy fulfilling one of my duties as First Lady of the United States of America,” which actually turned out to be having her carpet photographed. You mean no one in the entire White House bothered to tell her there was a terrorist attack going on over at the Capitol?   Yeah, we believe that - sure!   And, the reason Melania was unaware of the insurrection, was because she was having her “carpet” photographed?   Now, come on!   That’s gotta be a euphemism, right?   I mean, I thought she’d left that career behind when she moved into the White House. You can just bet she made damn sure the carpet matched the drapes before she summoned the photographer.  Anyway, a lot of people feel she was just a “do-nothing” First Lady, but I’ve gotta give her credit for one thing, ...

The government’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci told CNN he plans to retire by the end of President Joe Biden’s current term.   This led Republicans such as Colorado Congresswomen Lauren Boebert, who has not only demonized, but also fundraised off attacks on Fauci, to remark “Fauci thinks he’s just going to retire and move on with his life.   Not on my watch!   He belongs in jail.” No kidding?  Lauren Boebert has a watch?  Who knew?  Oh wait, she must mean that other kind of “watch!”  Now I get it.  I’ll tell you what, if she does have a watch, you can bet it’s digital, because there is no way someone like Lauren Boebert is gonna understand how to read one of those watches with the hands on them. Anyway, it should be interesting to see just what charges against Fauci, Rep. Boebert has in mind.  Oh wait, Fauci asked Americans to wear a mask in public areas during a deadly pandemic.  Why the man’s nothing but a monster!...

Three people are dead and two wounded after a gunman opened fire at a Greenwood, Indiana shopping mall, in yet another mass shooting that occurred less than three weeks after Indiana authorized “permitless concealed carry” in public areas.   The gunman was eventually killed by an armed bystander who was on the scene when the shooting took place. Well, I’ll be!  A perpetrator was finally shot by one of those “good guys with a gun?”  So, let’s see - so far we’ve had 390 mass shootings in 2022, and one “good guy” coming to the rescue.  Now, I hate to complain, but as more and more states move to allow almost anyone who can breathe to be armed to the teeth, just how in the hell is someone supposed to figure out which guy with the gun is actually the “good guy” every time a gunfight breaks out at the local mall? Of course, if you’re a Republican, the answer to that question is apparently quite simple, “the last one still standing is the good guy.  Everyone else - is ...