Universe Younger and Expanding Faster Than Previously Thought

Universe Younger and Expanding Faster Than Previously Thought: A new study led by Nobel Prize winning astronomer Adam Riess found that the universe is actually younger and expanding 9% faster than previously thought, leading many to believe that a "new physics" may be necessary to explain the difference.

Now, if I’m understanding all this correctly, the Universe was caught speeding, traveling way faster than the laws of physics permit. And then, a further investigation also determined that it had been lying about its age all this time? I’m telling you, kids these days! Now, I’m certainly no physicist, but I blame it all on that damn “Big Bang” thing.

And if all that wasn’t bad enough, scientists now say if this finding is correct and we need a “new physics,” it will have profound ramifications on nearly everything. One of which is - everyone’s high school and college physics credits will suddenly be invalid, and people will forced to retake those classes all over again just to maintain their degrees. I mean, what in the world is going on here anyway?

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Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Pete Buttigieg Emasculating Driving With Electric Cars

During a segment on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News program, US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was told by the host that Marjorie Taylor Greene is claiming "Mr. Buttigieg is trying to emasculate the way we drive" by supporting electric vehicles. In response, Buttigieg told Cavuto that “my sense of manhood is not connected to whether my vehicle is fueled by gasoline, or whether it's fueled by electricity.” When asked by Cavuto if he was offended by what Greene said, Buttigieg remarked "To be honest, there are other members of Congress that I pay more attention to when I'm thinking about opinions that really matter.” Oh, come on now! Let’s get real. It would take a helluva lot more than an electric car to “emasculate” Marjorie Taylor Greene. Besides, I’m pretty sure “real men” actually ride horses, anyway. Of course, I’m certainly no psychiatrist, but it sounds like Greene’s anger could be a combination of both “road rage” and “roid rage,” leaving her...

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump

Spa Founder Sold Chinese Businessmen Access to President Trump: Just days after it was reported that the former owner and founder of the infamous Florida day spa busted in a high-profile prostitution ring attended President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Super Bowl party, a new report has surfaced that the same Li Yang is also running a company that sells Chinese clients access to President Trump and members of his administration. Which may be true, but word on the street has it that a lot of customers are quite upset after they paid extra for the “Presidential Package” - only to discover just how puny that package really is. Of course, spa owner Li Yang will argue that she was simply trying to offer Trump and his Chinese business partners a “helping hand.” Very slick! I mean, these are the kind of schemes that I bet would make even John Gotti envious. Well, Trump did promise during the campaign that he would run the count...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike? Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death. Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this. On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

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