Trump Family Now Involved in a Toiletgate Scandal

Trump Family Now Involved in a Toiletgate Scandal: According to neighbors and law enforcement officials, the Secret Service detail assigned to protect President Trump’s daughter and son-in-law, spent months searching for a reliable restroom to use while on the job, after the Kushner family prohibited any of them from using any of the “6.5 bathrooms” inside their home. After resorting to a porta-potty, as well as bathrooms at the nearby homes of former President Barack Obama and Vice President Pence, the agents finally found a toilet which they rented for $3,000 a month (more than $100,000 to date), in a basement studio of a Kushner family neighbor.

Gee, is it just me, or are the Trumps about the only family that could end up involved in a scandal - over frigg’in toilets. Hey, now wait a minute! Remember a while back, when Trump was rambling on and on about toilet flushing - and everyone was wondering “what the hell is he talking about?” Well, I guess at least now, we finally understand what that was all about.

Anyway, in the Kushner family’s defense - my guess is they probably just didn't want the Secret Service to stumble upon their massive stash of embroidered White House toilet paper rolls, or any of the paintings and sculptures they probably snagged from papa’s Pennsylvania Ave residence.

But good grief, to think that the poor Secret Service folks were forced to head way down the street to ask if they could use Obama’s family toilet? I’d say “you can’t make this s**t up,” but there’s obviously no need to. I’ll bet those Secret Service folks got really pissed - or perhaps even worse! Now the only question that remains is, did they ever say "Thanks, Obama!” when they left his house?

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War: In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.” You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!” In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence. They don’t teach you that in law school. Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.” Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know. After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu. Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Trump Ordered by Jury to Pay E. Jean Carroll $83 Million

In his second trial in less than a year on the matter, a civil jury in Manhattan took only three hours to decide that disgraced former President Trump must pay $83.3 million in punitive and compensatory damages to rape victim and writer E. Jean Carroll in a drama that began in the dressing room of a New York City department store back in 1995. Gee whiz, $83 million? Seems it turns out that even “when you're a star, they don't always let you do it.” Anyway, so the Orange God used his big fat mouth to talk his way out of a $5 million judgment - and right into an $83 million judgment. Now, that really takes some skill! Talk about “The Art of the Deal!” I’m totally impressed. Why, its almost as if Mr. Trump and his militant, useless attorney don’t fully comprehend the basic point of “punitive damages.” I mean, at this point, Trump defames Ms. Carroll so frequently, she’s almost gonna need to put up an electronic signboard to alert the court abo...

You've Got to Be Kidding?

Search This Blog