Missionaries Telling Villagers COVID Vaccines Will Turn Them into Alligators

Missionaries Telling Villagers COVID Vaccines Will Turn Them into Alligators: The Guardian reports that on the São Francisco reservation in the state of Amazonas, angry villagers sent healthcare workers packing with bows and arrows when they tried to visit by helicopter to vaccinate people against the deadly coronavirus. Soon after, it was learned that the missionaries had been there spreading lies about how the vaccine will “turn people into alligators” as well as other untrue conspiracy theories.

So, if I’m understanding this correctly, these missionaries were essentially trying to turn these villagers into an Amazonian chapter of Donald Trump’s QAnon supporters? Why, next thing you know, they’ll be running from village to village, complaining about how “the Amazon jungle is totally rigged!”

That said, I’m honestly rather surprised that these missionaries missed their big chance to also tell the villagers that those alligators this vaccine is gonna turn them into - will also be gay. Now, is it just me, or does it seem like these evangelicals are slipping a bit?

I’ll tell ya one thing, you can bet that anyone who has been turned into an alligator, is sure to be in for a lot of kidding from fellow villagers. All I can say is, it’s a good thing alligators have “thick skin,” otherwise, they’d be just wallowing around in the mud all day long, shedding crocodile tears.

Johnny Robish Comedy

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