Skip to main content

Alex Jones Chastises Audience for Not Buying More at His InfoWars Store


Shortly after declaring bankruptcy to avoid paying court-ordered restitution to the Sandy Hook families he had categorized as "crisis actors,” InfoWars’ founder Alex Jones took to the airwaves in an angry meltdown, to shame viewers for not spending enough money at his InfoWars store.  In his rant, Jones said unnamed forces are "waging a war against you and your family" through "inflation and collapse,” and that he and Roger Stone are on the front lines fighting for you.  Jones then added that "This is life and death" and "This is all-out war, so go to InfoWarsStore.com and get amazing products.  If you don't support us, you're helping the enemy!”

Well, I just checked out the InfoWars store for myself, and I have to admit you won’t find a better place to shop, assuming you’ve been diagnosed as a “paranoid schizophrenic.” Folks, Alex Jones not only sells “crappy junk” in his store, he also peddles “conspiracy crap” over the airwaves, and let’s not forget he’s “full of crap” as well.  My friends, that’s what’s known as a “crap trifecta,” which frankly - ought to scare the “living crap” right out of you.


So, Jones says “this is war” does he?  Why, who knew the best way to protect your family from these deviously woke, gay, progressive, libtard, George Soros-financed plots for world domination - is to buy his 5-gallon tactical mac & cheese buckets, along with a full year’s supply of Jones’ special “boner pills.”  I guess the “boner pills” mean InfoWars fans have now switched their attention away from “election fraud,” and are now focusing on “erection fraud.”  So there’s that.


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering:  Just days after President Biden announced his $1.8 trillion American Families Plan to expand federal investment in child daycare, higher education, employee leave, and much more, Republicans are launching a “cultural attack” on the plan, calling it “Lefty Social Engineering.” So, apparently to Republicans - affordable childcare and healthcare, debt-free education, and wages that people can actually live on - are all a communist plot?   A massive, diabolical conspiracy, designed to get votes - by improving peoples' lives.   Why, what a sneaky, underhanded way, to get people thinking about themselves and their families’ interests - instead of Antifa and Hunter Biden’s laptop! Republicans like Mitch McConnell added that if Congress were to implement Joe Biden’s proposals, it would be like “mortgaging our children’s future,” which they find totally unacceptable.  Unless, of c...

Trump Takes Aim at McCain and Biden at Pre-SOTU Luncheon

Trump Takes Aim at McCain and Biden at Pre-SOTU Luncheon:  During a pre-SOTU luncheon with network anchors, President Trump took some cheap shots at the late John McCain, saying his book bombed and then Joe Biden - saying he hoped Biden will be his opponent in 2020 because Biden isn’t very smart.  Now, I have no idea how well John McCain’s last book sold, but isn’t being called “dumb” by Donald Trump - a little like being call “fat” by Chris Christie? New Study Finds Sunday Most Popular Day to Watch Porn:  According to a new study released by the world’s most popular porn site Pornhub found that the fewest amount of people watch porn on Friday, while Sunday turns out to be the most popular day to watch porn.  No surprise there.  Hell, everyone else is in church, you got the house to yourself - go for it! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Scientists Claim Yellowstone Volcano May Help End World Hunger:   Scientists from the Chicago-base...

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base

Trump Using Divisive Topics Like Plastic Straws to Energize Base:  Using tactics such as plastic straws, wind turbines, bogus conspiracy theories and race-baiting, White House aides freely admit that Donald Trump has been deliberately attempting to amplify public tensions in America by seizing on divisive issues as a means to energize his explosively angry base. Now, I know what some of you are thinking - you’re thinking “now this, is the last straw!”  Well, before you attack the “straw man,” remember that Donald Trump was that kid in school who thought it was simply hilarious to jam two straws up his nostrils.  Straws were an important part of Donald’s childhood, so it shouldn’t be a big surprise they remain so today.     What all you “elites" don’t understand is that Trump folks are all about fighting for “freedom.”  You know, the freedom to be morbidly obese, the freedom to destroy the environment, the freedom to live without affordable healt...