Skip to main content

Republican Candidates Panicking as Millions Missing from GOP Senate Campaign Coffers


Republican Senate hopefuls are getting crushed over the airwaves, as the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s campaign fund is quickly pulling ads and nearly out of cash.  This has many angry donors and campaign advisers asking “where all the money went?”  Especially, after months of touting record fundraising, topping $173 million so far this election cycle.  It seems Florida Sen. Rick Scott, who was put in charge of handling campaign spending, has been blowing through millions meant for Republican candidates for the US Senate.  Ironically, when he was CEO of Columbia/HCA about a decade ago, Rick Scott oversaw the largest Medicare fraud scheme ever committed in U.S. history, and his organization was fined $1.7 billion.

Gee whiz!  You mean to tell me GOP “grifters got grifted?”  Say it isn’t so.  I mean, who could have predicted something like this?  Anyway, so let’s get this straight.  Republicans put a guy who oversaw the largest Medicare fraud scheme in US history in charge of their finances, and now they’re at a loss to explain how nearly all that money seems to have just disappeared.  Well, not to be critical, but isn’t putting Rick Scott in charge of your finances, like giving John Dillinger the combination to your safe?  


That’s right, these fools put Rick Scott in charge of tens of millions in cash donations.  Why, I wouldn’t trust that guy with my lunch money.  Hell, if you’re going to be that stupid, you may as well just send your money off to one of those professional shysters like Jim Bakker or Alex Jones.  Oh, I see…they already do that.  Now, I think rather than turn that cash over to Rick Scott, they should’ve just stashed it in Mar-a-Lago’s basement.  I’m sure it would have been completely safe there.


Anyway, so a bunch of donors and desperate Republican candidates and strategists - are demanding to know exactly what happened to all that money?  Well, that’s easy enough to figure out.  After all, five-star hotels and pool boys don’t come cheap.  Besides, what’s the big deal, anyway?  This is all small potatoes compared to Scott’s $1.7 billion fraudulent Medicare billing scam.  For Pete’s sake, try and keep things in perspective people. 


Frankly, all Rick Scott did was help put the “con” back in the term “conservative.”  In fact, Floridians were apparently so impressed by how talented Scott is at bilking the system, they elected him governor, and then made him their US senator.  Who says no one gets elected on merit anymore?  Besides, the way the MAGA crowd looks at it, at least none of this money was wasted helping folks like elderly shut-ins, homeless vets, or hungry children.


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering:  Just days after President Biden announced his $1.8 trillion American Families Plan to expand federal investment in child daycare, higher education, employee leave, and much more, Republicans are launching a “cultural attack” on the plan, calling it “Lefty Social Engineering.” So, apparently to Republicans - affordable childcare and healthcare, debt-free education, and wages that people can actually live on - are all a communist plot?   A massive, diabolical conspiracy, designed to get votes - by improving peoples' lives.   Why, what a sneaky, underhanded way, to get people thinking about themselves and their families’ interests - instead of Antifa and Hunter Biden’s laptop! Republicans like Mitch McConnell added that if Congress were to implement Joe Biden’s proposals, it would be like “mortgaging our children’s future,” which they find totally unacceptable.  Unless, of c...

Trump Takes Aim at McCain and Biden at Pre-SOTU Luncheon

Trump Takes Aim at McCain and Biden at Pre-SOTU Luncheon:  During a pre-SOTU luncheon with network anchors, President Trump took some cheap shots at the late John McCain, saying his book bombed and then Joe Biden - saying he hoped Biden will be his opponent in 2020 because Biden isn’t very smart.  Now, I have no idea how well John McCain’s last book sold, but isn’t being called “dumb” by Donald Trump - a little like being call “fat” by Chris Christie? New Study Finds Sunday Most Popular Day to Watch Porn:  According to a new study released by the world’s most popular porn site Pornhub found that the fewest amount of people watch porn on Friday, while Sunday turns out to be the most popular day to watch porn.  No surprise there.  Hell, everyone else is in church, you got the house to yourself - go for it! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com Scientists Claim Yellowstone Volcano May Help End World Hunger:   Scientists from the Chicago-base...

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List

Green-Haired Turtle that Breathes Through Genitals Added to Endangered List:  The Mary River turtle of Queensland, Australia, which breaths through its genitals and sports a punky green Mohican hairdo, has been placed on a new list of the most vulnerable reptile species on the planet.  Now, of course, we’ve all known people who talk out of their ass, but come on - breathing through your genitals is quite a feat.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Study Finds Flat Earth Believers Tend to Be Young:  A new survey found that 34 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds entertain some doubts about whether the Earth is actually round.  Good grief, sounds like we flat out need to see that these millennials get a more well-rounded education.  http://www.johnnyrobish.com Huge-Nosed Dinosaur Found in Utah:  Paleontologists have discovered a new dinosaur which had a humongous nose that lived 76-million years ago in what is now Utah.  Ironically, if ...