Skip to main content

Republican Senator Says God Sent Rain to Oklahoma as Payment for Anti-Abortion Laws


In a recent interview, US Senator James Lankford (R-OK) told Christian Nationalist Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council about how they were experiencing a massive drought in Oklahoma, and the week after they passed anti-abortion legislation, “we had the most overwhelming rainstorm that came across the state.” 

No kidding?  If heavy rain is a “blessing,” then I’m guessing Puerto Rico must be feeling extraordinarily blessed lately.  Now, not to be critical, but Sen. Lankford’s God may have gotten just a wee bit too enthusiastic about all this anti-abortion legislation and overshot his mark a bit, because some of Lankford’s “overwhelming rain storms” ended up causing major flood damage in Oklahoma cities.


Frankly, it isn’t as if this hasn’t happened before.  If I remember correctly, back in 2019, when Oklahoma was experiencing serious flooding throughout the state - Sen. Lankford was claiming “gay people are the cause of natural disasters.”  The funny thing is - shortly thereafter, Lankford lost HIS home to flooding.  Let’s hope Lankford’s God doesn’t screw up rainmaking again, and it ends up “raining babies.”  Then, there’d be nothing to abort.


Gee, kinda makes you wonder just who Lankford’s God might have been all pissed off at during the “Dust Bowl?”  They didn’t get any rain back in those days.  That was back in a time before meteorologists and climatologists realized all you needed to do to make it rain - was to simply pass extremely harsh anti-abortion legislation.  Who knew?  Of course, no Dust Bowl would have meant we wouldn’t have had any hobos hopping freights, leaving poor John Steinbeck with nothing to write about.   


Anyway, so we have an entire state full of people who apparently feel the best person to represent them in the US Senate is someone who believes it's 1022, not 2022.  Nothing scary about that.  Besides, folks like Tony Perkins and Sen. Lankford know one of the coolest things about claiming you’re actually “speaking for God,” is that they feel pretty safe God won’t come down and contradict them.  That’s why so many thinking people sarcastically remark, “Gee, I think I’m in the wrong business!”


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War

Trump Lawyer Schoen Threatens America With Civil War:  In a fiery speech, arguing that impeachment would disenfranchise Donald Trump’s supporters, defense lawyer David Schoen is being harshly criticized for his thinly veiled threat - warning that impeaching the former president could very well result in even more violence from Donald Trump’s easily enraged base. So, if I understand Schoen’s argument correctly, it sounds as if he’s implying that “if you bring Trump to trial, then that angry, violent mob who attacked the Capitol, wanting to hang Vice President Pence and kill various members of Congress, might get really, really mad again - and there will be reprisals.”   You know, we’re talking stuff like ”Nice country you have here - be a damn shame if something were to happen to it!”  In other words, Schoen’s trying to incite violence, in defense of a man who’s facing trial - over inciting violence.  They don’t teach you that in law school.   Now, is it jus...

Former Trump National Security Advisor Warns ‘Deep State’ Putting COVID Vaccine in Salad Dressing

Former Trump National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, who was fired and then prosecuted for lying to the FBI about his contacts with Russia before being ultimately pardoned by Trump, is now sliding further into the QAnon conspiracy world, telling the hosts of an online show dedicated to COVID and election fraud conspiracies - that he has heard the “Deep State” is attempting to “sneak coronavirus vaccine into salad dressing.” Now, I have no idea where Gen. Flynn got this information, but my guess is it was probably a text from Mike Lindell or Rudy Giuliani, alerting him to the “hidden dangers of salad dressing.”  Or, it could have been Nicki Minaj for all I know.  After all, she does have another cousin who has a friend in Timbuktu.  Word on the street has it the “Deep State” will initially start with “Ranch Dressing” to vaccinate the cowboys, then move on to “Russian Dressing,” to get the rest of Trump’s supporters. Anyway, I hate to rain on Gen. Flynn’s conspiracy the...

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s.  She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden.  The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.”  There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed.  In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls.   Okay, so now let me get this straight.  A young Mexican fema...