Skip to main content

Don Jr. Opens New Year Selling Bibles on a ‘Rumble’ Podcast with a 7-Figure Contract


Well, it seems Don Jr. now has himself a seven-figure contract to do a podcast for “Rumble,” the cloud services business that is quite popular among America’s extreme-right crowd.  The service (Rumble) is currently most widely known for also hosting Donald Trump’s “Truth Social” platform.  Junior started things off by declaring “Judeo-Christian values are under attack,” and is sponsoring his podcast by selling “Made in America Bibles,” all the while claiming “I am both a former divinity student and a full-time podcaster.”  Two things that aren’t really true, but as George Santos might say, “who cares?”

Hey, wait a minute - “American-Made Bibles?”  Now, exactly what the hell is that supposed to mean?  Is this Bible the new “King Donald Version?”  And, if so, is it written in sharpie?  Naturally, one would assume any Bible put out by a Trump, would be replete with scores of grammatical and spelling errors.  Oh well, no problem!  I mean, the rubes will never notice the difference, anyway.  Just as long as the book was written entirely by Jesus, the greatest American who has ever lived.

So, who says “crime doesn’t pay?”  You see, “some folks” will fall for almost anything, but those “MAGA folks?”  Well, you can count on them to fall for EVERYTHING!  So, I think we should expect those disability checks of theirs to start flowing Don Jr’s way pretty darn soon.  Oh, but not me!  You see, I’m not that easily fooled.  Hell, my Bible was printed right in Jerusalem, and personally signed by Jesus and all his disciples.  Not only that, but it also came with a fancy “certificate of authenticity” right inside the cover.  Now, how you gonna top that?

Well, Don Jr. will tell ya exactly how.  The first 1000 people who purchase one of these “Made in America Bibles,” will also receive an authentic Christian Nationalist “Get Out of Hell Free Card.”  These cards are especially popular with many of the rural MAGAs, who perhaps may have become just a wee bit too “friendly" with the livestock at times.  Meanwhile, Don Jr. can say, “Look, Dad!  I'm ‘businessing’ now, just like you!”  Well, perhaps - but he’d better be careful not to step on any of Daddy or Melania’s new NFT scams, because if he does, MAGA Bibles or not, you can bet there’ll be some REAL hell to pay!

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sen. Katie Britt Blames Biden for a Rape 20 Years Ago in Mexico

During what many are calling an absolutely insane rebuttal to President Biden’s “State of the Union” address, Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.), walked onto a studio sound stage (set up like an upper-middle-class kitchen) and began to link a harrowing account of a young woman’s sex trafficking and rape by a Mexican drug cartel, to Joe Biden’s immigration policies of the 2020s.  She did this even though the abuse happened nearly 20 years ago and in Mexico - and at a time when Republican George W. Bush was president, not Joe Biden.  The girl about whom Sen. Britt spoke - was thrown out of her house by her mother at age 12 and eventually “fell prey to a professional pimp.”  There is no evidence that she was ever held by a drug cartel, as Katie claimed.  In addition, the young victim testified that most of her clients for prostitution were foreigners visiting Mexico to have sex with underage girls.   Okay, so now let me get this straight.  A young Mexican fema...
Post a Comment
Read more

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location

White House Calls Trump Property the Perfect G7 Meeting Location:   The White House and President Trump are raising eyebrows once again after they selected Donald Trump’s National Doral Resort Hotel as the “perfect location” for the next G7 summit while also suggesting President Trump plans to re-invite Russian President Vladimir Putin to the meeting.  Well gee-whiz, what a lucky break for the Trump Resorts.  I mean, who knew there was no other place in the entire United States that would be appropriate to hold a G7 summit other than a Trump property?  Imagine that! Of course, at the rate Trump has been betraying all our friends and allies, by the time this conference actually rolls around - my guess is it’s likely only gonna be a G2 summit - with just Trump and Putin in attendance! https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com
Post a Comment
Read more

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members

Trump Claims Bahamas are Full of Bad Gang Members:   President Trump shocked reporters by telling them that he is hesitant to allow any Bahamians to enter the US after Hurricane Dorian, because the island is full of "bad gang members.” Right, “bad gang members.”  That’s as opposed to all the “good gang members” who follow him.  You know, like the KKK, the neo-Nazis and all those white-supremacist militia gangs. But come on, if Trump really thought that there’s all these “bad guys” roaming around in the Bahamas, you’d think he’d have invited them to meet with him at Camp David by now. That said, my guess is that about the only thing Donald Trump actually knows about the Bahamas is that it’s surrounded bigly, by a Yuge bunch of water. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com
Post a Comment
Read more