Skip to main content

Newsmax Wants Tucker Carlson to Run Their Entire Network


TMZ is reporting that right-wing cable news channel Newsmax is working hard to land former Fox News anchor and White Nationalist Tucker Carlson.  Sources say Newsmax wants him to be more than just the face of the network, claiming “The news channel is doing everything it can to sweeten the deal for Tucker to come on board - including floating the idea of letting him program the whole channel, not just his own show.”  Tucker would have a “big say in rebranding their network” in addition to his own show if he did decide to make the switch.

Wow, no kidding?  Newsmax wants to turn all their programming over to Tucker Carlson?  I'm sure their legal department is simply thrilled to death about that - literally!  And hiring a two-faced liar to lead your company sounds like a terrific business strategy!  Gee, I guess this means Newsmax must have an extra $750 million in cash laying around and ready to shell out when Tucker does what Tucker does best - spouting lies and unproven conspiracy theories about people and organizations he wants to turn into scapegoats.  Now, for those of you who may not be familiar with them, Newsmax is the cable network for people with head injuries so severe that they believe Fox News was founded by George Soros, Leon Trotsky, and JFK Jr.


Hey, listen - not to be critical, but isn’t hiring Tucker Carlson to head your programming department a little like making an arsonist chief of your fire department?  Seems Newsmax simply can’t stop dumpster-diving in the Fox Studios’ trash bins.  I mean, first, they pull Sean Spicer and Eric Bolling directly out of the garbage, and now Tucker.  Well, this really shouldn’t be a big surprise to anyone.  That truth is, Tucker’s job is very simple, “Fire up the lunatics - and get them mad as hell at all the folks who aren’t lunatics.”  Now, say what you want about right-wing media, but its really a great gig if you can get it.  Its even better than the American Dream, its “people paying you big money - to tell them lies.”


If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at:

Johnny Robish Comedy

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trump Tells Hannity He Can Declassify Secret Documents With Just His Mind

During a recent interview on Fox News with Sean Hannity, former president Donald Trump tried to defend stashing extremely sensitive classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago resort by saying he was the president, and the president can declassify, simply by “saying its declassified.”   Trump further added that “there doesn't have to be a process - there can be a process, but there doesn't have to be.”   Trump then told Hannity that if you're the president of the United States, you can actually declassify something “by just ‘ thinking’ about it.”   Oh, my word!  You mean to tell me Trump actually thinks he can declassify the government's most guarded secrets, simply by “thinking about them?”  Now, not to be critical, but it sure sounds like someone has been spending way too much of their spare time binge-watching old episodes of “I Dream of Jeannie.”  I mean, about the only thing he left out was that he also sprinkled the documents with “pixie dust!” This...

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy

Self-Described Prophet and Pastor Warns Critics They Risk Leprosy:   After numerous prophecies of his failed to materialize, resulting in various accusations of lies and fraud, self-described “prophet” and right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman of “One Voice Ministries” warned fellow Christians that they "better be very careful" about criticizing "prophets" like him, because "It's a dangerous place, and some of you might get leprosy.” Wow, leprosy?  That’s one helluva threat!  Now, while I wasn’t there, my guess is that it all came down something like this - some critic calls out God’s “prophet” Kunneman for his bogus claims, then further challenges him by declaring “You want a piece of me, then come and get it!”  Then God gave that critic leprosy - and that “piece of him” just fell right off. Now, on a personal note, I’ve also been a vocal critic of Kunneman’s ministry for a long time now, and I can happily report that I haven’t come down with “leprosy.”  Alth...

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal

Mike Huckabee Claims COVID-19 Death Risk Small and Sin Risk Lethal:   Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has stirred some controversy with medical professionals by claiming that the risk of death from coronavirus is very “minimal,” but “sin is 100% lethal. Oh, really Mike?  Then how about showing me a death certificate which lists “sin” as the primary cause of death.  Of course, the fact is, sin couldn’t be 100% lethal, or a guy like me wouldn’t even be alive to write this.   On the other hand, maybe you’re on to something Mike - and sin really is lethal, and I secretly used a “ghostwriter” to write this joke. https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com