You've Got to Be Kidding?

The Washington Post reports that during an October 2019 event at a Trump property, a hot mic video caught Matt Gaetz telling Roger Stone he'd likely be found guilty of the obstruction charges and other crimes he was facing, but assured Stone that “the Boss” would likely grant him clemency, even if he were convicted because "The Boss still has a very favorable view of you.”   Gaetz then explained to Stone how he was working on getting him a pardon, but was hesitant to say more backstage at the event "Since there are many, many recording devices around right now, I do not feel in a position to speak freely about the work I've already done on that subject." So, here we have a man charged with obstruction, witness tampering, fraud, and conspiracy, negotiating a presidential pardon from a guy serving on the House Judiciary Committee, who stands accused of child sex trafficking.  I mean, who could possibly have an issue with that? The thing is, it seems this band of...

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert went on Charlie Kirk’s podcast during the recent ultra-right Turning Point USA’s Student Action Summit, to claim that the same-sex marriage bill that just passed in the House "undermined masculinity.”   Boebert said that "I think the federal government should not be involved in marriage," adding that "My marriage between my husband is really between me and God, not between me and the government.” Now, Rep. Boebert claims that the recently passed House “Respect for Marriage Act” undermines “traditional masculinity,” but oddly enough, it didn’t appear to have negatively impacted Marjorie Taylor Greene - one way or the other.  Besides, we’ve recently seen what traditional “MAGA Masculinity” really looks like up close, by watching proud fist-pumping senator Josh Hawley’s 60-mile-an-hour dash through the Capitol hallways.  Man, it was a sight to be seen!     Anyway, Boebert tells Kirk "I think the federal government should not be in...

A chess-playing robot in Russia created quite a controversy while playing a 7-year-old opponent, a child who is one of the top youth chess competitors in Moscow.  The computer apparently became flustered during the match because its human opponent was playing too rapidly - so it reached out and grabbed the youngster's finger, snapping and breaking it.   Organizers as well as the computer manufacturer claim the boy acted too quickly after the robot's move, which caused the machine to “fail to reset.” Gee, you mean to tell me the friggin’ machine broke the kid’s finger because it “failed to reset?”  I mean, who the hell programmed that computer anyway - Tonya Harding?  Why, it’s a damn shame there wasn’t a “good computer with a gun” anywhere nearby.  All I can say is, while the damn thing was busy “resetting itself,” how about resetting the poor kid’s finger too?  Now, I hate to be a “robot shamer,” but that seems like the least it could do.   Of cou...

The Huffington Post reports Matt Gaetz (R-Fla) recently spoke at the ultra-conservative Turning Point USA’s Student Action Summit in Tampa, and got huge laughs and applause from the crowd when he asked “Why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions?”   Gaetz further added that “Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb.”   This isn’t the first time Gaetz has suggested pro-choice activists have trouble finding sexual partners.   In May, he tweeted "How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials, who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches?”   Well, I can see the Republican Party’s outreach to women voters is staying right on track this election cycle.  Of course, the truth is, you can take everything Matt Gaetz says about women’s appearances with a grain of salt, because ...

In a recent interview with Fox News, former First Lady Melania Trump claimed that during the January 6th Capitol insurrection, she was completely unaware of the violence going on, because she was “busy fulfilling one of my duties as First Lady of the United States of America,” which actually turned out to be having her carpet photographed. You mean no one in the entire White House bothered to tell her there was a terrorist attack going on over at the Capitol?   Yeah, we believe that - sure!   And, the reason Melania was unaware of the insurrection, was because she was having her “carpet” photographed?   Now, come on!   That’s gotta be a euphemism, right?   I mean, I thought she’d left that career behind when she moved into the White House. You can just bet she made damn sure the carpet matched the drapes before she summoned the photographer.  Anyway, a lot of people feel she was just a “do-nothing” First Lady, but I’ve gotta give her credit for one thing, ...

The government’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci told CNN he plans to retire by the end of President Joe Biden’s current term.   This led Republicans such as Colorado Congresswomen Lauren Boebert, who has not only demonized, but also fundraised off attacks on Fauci, to remark “Fauci thinks he’s just going to retire and move on with his life.   Not on my watch!   He belongs in jail.” No kidding?  Lauren Boebert has a watch?  Who knew?  Oh wait, she must mean that other kind of “watch!”  Now I get it.  I’ll tell you what, if she does have a watch, you can bet it’s digital, because there is no way someone like Lauren Boebert is gonna understand how to read one of those watches with the hands on them. Anyway, it should be interesting to see just what charges against Fauci, Rep. Boebert has in mind.  Oh wait, Fauci asked Americans to wear a mask in public areas during a deadly pandemic.  Why the man’s nothing but a monster!...

Three people are dead and two wounded after a gunman opened fire at a Greenwood, Indiana shopping mall, in yet another mass shooting that occurred less than three weeks after Indiana authorized “permitless concealed carry” in public areas.   The gunman was eventually killed by an armed bystander who was on the scene when the shooting took place. Well, I’ll be!  A perpetrator was finally shot by one of those “good guys with a gun?”  So, let’s see - so far we’ve had 390 mass shootings in 2022, and one “good guy” coming to the rescue.  Now, I hate to complain, but as more and more states move to allow almost anyone who can breathe to be armed to the teeth, just how in the hell is someone supposed to figure out which guy with the gun is actually the “good guy” every time a gunfight breaks out at the local mall? Of course, if you’re a Republican, the answer to that question is apparently quite simple, “the last one still standing is the good guy.  Everyone else - is ...

The entire Bracken County Kentucky Republican Party Facebook page had been deleted after complaints about one of their posts warning citizens that "A Jewish anti-gun activist, Steve Dettelbach, has just been made director of the ATF.”   They further cautioned that “The Jewish Junta is getting stronger and more aggressive.”   After receiving tons of blowback on the matter, Bracken County GOP Chairwoman Karin Kirkindol then deleted their entire Facebook page, and wrote that the post “does not represent the values of the Bracken County Republican Party.” Yes, it does!  Now, you can call me crazy, but if it doesn’t represent “the values of the Bracken County Republican Party,” then please explain just who the hell it does represent?  Now, I’m just guessing here, but I think it’s a pretty safe bet to assume it probably doesn’t represent the values of the “Bracken County Jewish community.”  So, then - just who could it be? You see, the thing is, no matter how often...

As New York City police investigate the circumstances under which Ivana Trump was found dead at the bottom of a flight of stairs, Donald Trump is already busy fundraising off his ex-wife’s tragic death.   In a post on his social network “ Truth Social, ” the former president calls her a “wonderful, beautiful, and amazing woman,” before finishing his message with a fundraising plea - asking everyone to “Donate to Save America.”     Well, all I can say is, what took him so long?  I mean, she’s been dead for several hours now.  Come on Donald, pick up the pace!  Now, not to sound cynical, but if he thought she was so “wonderful, beautiful, and amazing,” why the hell was he screwing around with other women?  I mean, this is a guy who took off to play golf as his brother lay dying.  But I get the fundraising, he’s thinking “What the heck, she’s already dead, right?”  The point is, never let an opportunity for self-enrichment go to waste.  It...

At the close of the Jan. 6th hearings for Tuesday, Rep. Liz Cheney unleashed “yet another bombshell” when she revealed that former President Donald Trump tried to phone a witness who hadn’t yet appeared to testify, which has serious witness tampering implications.   In response, Newsmax host Greg Kelly claims that Trump wasn’t actually trying to contact the witness, and probably accidentally butt-dialed the witness’ number. Now, I have no idea whether Newsmax host Kelly’s butt-dialing claim is true or not, but I will be the first to admit that Trump certainly has a butt made for “butt-dialing.”  Why, word has it that just by sitting down, he’s been known to make at least a dozen phone calls.  Besides, we all know the former president is famous for talking out of his ass.  In fact, IT guys say his ass is actually large enough to have its own area code.  Wonder if “666” is already taken?   Meanwhile, rumors have been circulating that the voice over the p...

The Sarasota Herald-Tribune (FL) ran an opinion piece written by Melissa Radovich this past weekend, in which her headline read “Attacking Proud Boys Does a Disservice to Caring School Parents.”   She further explained that “When I think about the Proud Boys, I think of fathers, business owners, and veterans.”   The op-ed drew so much heavy criticism nationally, that the paper was eventually forced to pull the op-ed.   Interestingly, what the paper failed to mention even in their retraction, is that this op-ed piece’s author Melissa Radovich, isn’t just some soccer mom trying to be fair-minded - she’s also married to one of the Proud Boys. Now, I have to admit when I first read this, I thought “Gee, does Mar-a-Lago have a newspaper?”  But then I realized it was actually a Sarasota paper.  Now obviously the way Ms. Radovich portrays the Proud Boys is quite controversial for many, but I fully understand what she means.  Why, it’s just like saying “I might ha...

Homeschooled MAGA Ohio State Rep. Sarah Fowler Arthur (R-99th Dist), defended controversial legislation she co-sponsored while on a local news station, by pointing out she believes "divisive concepts" should be taught from “multiple points of view.”   She further explained that history could be taught from the perspective of someone in Poland who was “displaced” or “incorporated” into the war, or perhaps from the perspective of a Jewish person that has gone through the tragedies that took place, or maybe you'll listen to it from the perspective of a German soldier. Oh, I get it!  We need to start teaching "divisive concepts” such as fascism from “multiple points of view.”  Well then, even though she and most of her base are primarily hard-core Bible thumpers, given her philosophy that “all points of view” should be taught - I’m sure all the Satanists in her district will be absolutely thrilled to learn that she’d be open to teaching local school children about Chris...

The Daily Beast is reporting that a pregnant Plano, Texas woman named Brandy Bottone, told the police officer who had pulled her over for “driving alone in the carpool lane” that under Texas law and after the repeal of Roe v. Wade , her fetus now counted as a passenger. Not surprisingly, the cop told her that in order to use the HOV lanes, there must be two people in the car, and that means another person “outside of the body.”  Well, if that’s the case, you can soon expect one helluva lot of Texas women to start having “out-of-body experiences.”  That said, I’m sure all these legalities will get amicably sorted out, just as soon as Texas begins requiring all women to register their pregnancies with state Attorney General Ken Paxton. Naturally, some libtards are claiming Texas Republicans have “double standards,” but it’s important to remember that if Texas didn't have “double standards,” they'd have no standards whatsoever.  Hell, the way things are going with Texas ...

During an interview with US Rep. Andy Biggs (R-AZ) on Real America's Voice , conservative television host Anna Perez suggested that the Biden Administration is using “woke food items” like soy products to “feminize” and “weaken” the United States military.   Biggs agreed, adding “Yeah, you're right, Anna - it is a weakening and it changes the culture.”   Biggs has been identified by Cassidy Hutchinson as one of the congressmen who reached out to her regarding requesting a pardon following the Jan. 6th attack. Well, thanks for explaining it all Anna and Andy!  Now, it’s all finally making sense to me.  Frankly, I always suspected soy sauce might be some sort of bio-weapon.  That said, even if it’s true that the Biden Administration is trying to “feminize” our military with “woke soy products,” all the military needs to do to overcome that - is simply take Tucker Carlson’s advice and have soldiers “tan their testicles.” Besides, all isn’t lost.  In fact, w...

A year after Texas lawmakers enacted legislation to keep topics they say could cause students to “feel uncomfortable" out of Texas classrooms, CBS News reports that the Texas State Board of Education has voted unanimously to revisit the term “slavery,” and consider a proposal to replace it with the phrase “Involuntary Relocation.” Gee, so slaves were just “Involuntary relocated” were they?  Hell, smart move Texas.  The term sure makes it sound like “slavery” was nothing more than some sort of a “clerical error.”  Now, call me a silly “libtard” if you will, but somehow I suspect all this means those nice folks over at the Texas State Board of Education will also poo-poo allowing discussion about what actually followed - AFTER these folks were “involuntary relocated?” Of course, Texas isn’t the only state trying to force educators to rewrite history the way today’s Republicans would like it to be told.  In fact, Florida Gov. DeSantis and his pals, as well as many ot...