You've Got to Be Kidding?

Appearing on anti-woke comedian Adam Carolla’s YouTube show this week, Twitter podcaster and fired Fox News host Tucker Carlson is pounding home the theory that Democrats and the D.C. establishment are plotting to kill Donald Trump, this time claiming that we’re “speeding toward assassination” because “permanent Washington” has decided they “just can’t have” Trump as president again. Really?  Kill Trump?   I mean, just when you think Republicans can’t get any more insane - along comes Tucker.   Hell, I’d say if anyone ends up killing Trump, it’d most likely be the folks over at McDonald’s or Diet Coke.   They’ve got the dude up around 300 pounds now.   Besides , if memory serves me correctly, I believe it was Tucker who was discovered to have been repeatedly texting about how “passionately he hates Trump” and wished he were out of the picture.   Frankly, if Trump ever got assassinated, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it turns out to be Tucker who does the...

Former president Donald Trump just shared some juicy gossip about Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on his Truth Social platform.   Trump posted, “Roomer (sic) are (sic) strong in political circles that Ron DeSanctimonious, whose Presidential run is a shambles, and whose poll numbers have absolutely crashed, putting him 3rd and 4th in some states, will be dropping out of the Presidential race in order to run, in Florida, against Rick Scott for Senate.   Now that’s an interesting one, isn’t it?” Gee, Donald Trump spreading “roomers?”  Say it ain’t so!   Now, me thinks perhaps that prestigious Wharton School of Business Trump attended might want to consider adding some basic 3rd-grade spelling classes to its curriculum.   Apparently, Trump is stalled at that level of language development where he is still spelling words phonetically.   Why his poor spelling makes him look like a real “looser.”   Frankly, I’m not sure its a wise choice for Republicans to choose ...

Just as Hurricane Hilary was plowing its way north from Baja, Mexico, into the southwestern United States, a preliminary 5.1 magnitude earthquake struck Ojai, California, on Sunday.   Ironically, the earthquake was the strongest to hit the Ojai area since 1932, while Hilary was the first tropical storm to hit California since 1939. Wow, holy “Apocalypse Now” remake!   I mean, just this year alone, we in LA have gone through record-breaking heat waves, severe drought, water shortages, wildfires, power outages, isolated tornados, and now a friggin’ earthquake in the middle of a hurricane!   I mean, I’m thinking maybe I ought to head over to somewhere like Ukraine - just for a break.   Now, is it just me, or does it seem like about the only thing missing here is “Godzilla” kicking over the Hollywood Sign? Of course, Republicans will be the first to point out that this earthquake could have been entirely prevented - had we just raked our fault lines as Donald Trump sugge...

Ron Hedlund, an official of the Virginia GOP Central Committee, showed up at a youth baseball game this past week in a pickup truck featuring a drawing of an 18-foot penis on the side that read “Biden Sucks.”  Then, while the kids played baseball, Hedlund inflated a towering “airman" from the bed of the truck, reading "Fuck Biden" down the side. Now, to be completely fair, if you really wanna grab people's attention, I suppose an 18-foot inflated penis would probably do the trick.  That said, is it just me, or does there seem to be one helluva lot of so-called “straight conservative men” who sure seem to be quite fixated on phallic imagery?  My, my - and to think these are the same folks who are banning books and attacking teachers and librarians for “grooming.”  Funny cooincidence, isn’t it?  I mean, at a minimum, shouldn’t Hedlund at least be charged with “erection interference?”  All I know is having an 18-foot inflatable penis would kind of change the m...

The New Republic reports that former Trump White House advisor Stephen Miller and his litigious band of alt-right lawyers called “America First Legal” have filed a lawsuit with the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission against Kellogg's over a limited edition Pop-Tart commemorating LGBTQ Pride.   The group claims, "Kellogg's is yet another big corporation that will break the law and hurt its shareholders' interests to serve the twisted woke ideology of its officers and directors.” Gee, if you wanna talk about being “Woke,” this dude is literally suing a toasted pastry box.  Can you imagine being so whacked-out that you’re actually threatened by a rainbow-colored Pop-Tarts box?   All I can figure is he must have caught his wife in bed with a box of them.   Now, the question is, where does it all end?   I mean, if he’s suing Pop-Tarts, can Fruit Loops be that far behind?   Come on!   Cinnamon Toast Crunch are cannibals, and he's going after Pop-Tarts? ...

Former President Donald Trump led a chorus of conservatives who cheered this past Sunday after the U.S. women's soccer team got knocked out of the World Cup by Sweden.   Posting on his “Truth Social,” Trump wrote, "The 'shocking and totally unexpected' loss by the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team to Sweden is fully emblematic of what is happening to our once great Nation under Crooked Joe Biden,” adding that "Many of our players were openly hostile to America - No other country behaved in such a manner, or even close. WOKE EQUALS FAILURE. Nice shot, Megan, the USA is going to Hell!!! MAGA.”   The “Megan” reference was about US star player Megan Rapinoe with whom Trump has maintained a long-running grudge after she refused to accept an invitation to see him in the White House after leading her team to victory in the Women's World Cup four years ago. Wait a minute!  The guy who has just racked up 78 felony charges against him - including trying to violently overthrow th...

Researchers in the Netherlands found in a new, peer-reviewed study of hospital workers that people who pick their noses habitually have a three times greater likelihood of contracting COVID than those who don’t.  Nearly 85% of those surveyed reported they picked their noses at least once in the previous month with varying frequencies. Gee, whiz!  Now that’s some interesting news!  Hell, now I'm all set for trivia night.  That said, and if I’m understanding this correctly, this study conclusively proved that “most hospital workers pick their noses.”  Who knew?  Now, if you ask me, the REAL NEWS here has nothing to do with COVID.  It’s that “a whole bunch of hospital workers actually admitted they pick their noses.” The funny thing is, there was a small group of those nose-pickers who were kind of bold about it all and proudly pointed out that, “The beauty of nose-picking is that each of us have two completely separate nasal cavities, so there’s never an...