You've Got to Be Kidding?

GOP Labels Biden’s Daycare, Education, and Employee Leave - Lefty Social Engineering:  Just days after President Biden announced his $1.8 trillion American Families Plan to expand federal investment in child daycare, higher education, employee leave, and much more, Republicans are launching a “cultural attack” on the plan, calling it “Lefty Social Engineering.” So, apparently to Republicans - affordable childcare and healthcare, debt-free education, and wages that people can actually live on - are all a communist plot?   A massive, diabolical conspiracy, designed to get votes - by improving peoples' lives.   Why, what a sneaky, underhanded way, to get people thinking about themselves and their families’ interests - instead of Antifa and Hunter Biden’s laptop! Republicans like Mitch McConnell added that if Congress were to implement Joe Biden’s proposals, it would be like “mortgaging our children’s future,” which they find totally unacceptable.  Unless, of c...

FBI Warned Giuliani He was Target of a Russian Influence Operation:  It’s being reported that the FBI warned Rudy Giuliani, Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), and conservative media outlets such as One America News (OAN) in late 2019, that they were the target of a Russian influence operation - aimed at circulating lies intended to damage Joe Biden politically in order to influence the outcome of the 2020 election. Perhaps, but no matter how much evidence the Feds may have on him, Giuliani may end up proving to be an extremely difficult person to prosecute in court.  That’s because he’s consistently shown time after time that he’s capable of cutting some of the nastiest farts imaginable while being questioned on the witness stand - thereby making cross-examination nearly impossible without sophisticated respiratory equipment. I mean, given these new revelations, one does have to ask, just who in the hell would continue having contact with Russian operatives, after they’ve been w...

USDA Calls Republican Claims of Biden Planning Meat Ban a Fabrication:  The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) said Monday that there is absolutely no truth whatsoever to a story being circulated by The Daily Mail and Fox News , claiming that President Biden’s climate plan intends to limit the consumption of red meat by US citizens.  Fox News host and former Trump advisor Larry Kudlow took it one step further, complaining that we’ll soon all be forced to drink “plant-based beer.” Wow, forced to drink “plant-based” beer?  Why, no wonder all Trump’s beer-drinking fans are “hopping” mad.  Now, wait just a minute!  Do you suppose Larry Kudlow really believes that beer comes from dairy cattle?  Because that assumption would be udderly false.   Fortunately, Trump “patriots” have already begun stockpiling cattle in preparation for the upcoming beef ban.  I can hear these brave souls now “if Biden wants to try to take away the source of my high choles...

EU Says Vaccinated Americans Can Visit Europe This Summer:   European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen told the NY Times that Americans who have been fully vaccinated against COVID-19, will be allowed to visit the European Union (EU) this summer - more than a year after nonessential travel was suspended between the U.S. and Europe amid the pandemic. Unfortunately for America’s Trump supporters, the EU also warned that bleach injections and Hydroxychloroquine don’t count.  Oh well, no big deal.  After all, most Trump anti-vaxxers probably haven’t ventured more than two or three miles beyond their front lawns in many years anyway.  Besides, even if they can’t go to Europe, they’ll always have Branson, Missouri.   In the meantime, shortly after the EU decision was announced, the Austrian Board of Tourism immediately put out an emergency bulletin, reminding those American tourists who may be dyslexic that “there are no koala bears or kangaroos in Austr...

Scientists Making Strides Into How Dinosaurs May Have Mated:   Scientists from the University of Bristol and the University of Massachusetts Amherst revealed in the journal Current Biology that research on a Regaliceratops peterhewsi fossil, has allowed them to draw some rather interesting conclusions in their attempt to discover exactly how dinosaurs may have mated. Now, wait a minute!  Just what kind of people sit around thinking about dinosaurs having sex anyway?  Why, I certainly don’t.  I mean, I could have sworn that I saw a film way back when that claimed that the dinosaurs actually came into being through a cloning effort being conducted on some remote tropical island called Isla Nublar , just off Costa Rica.   Now, as far as dinosaurs mating, I’m quite sure -  as folks like Marjorie Taylor Greene or any good evangelical Donald Trump-loving Christian will tell you - “dinosaur mating happened when a mommy dinosaur and a daddy dinosaur loved each ...

Trump May Soon Be Relocating to New Jersey:  Insiders say that former President Donald Trump and his team, may soon be “temporarily” relocating from his Palm Beach Mar-A-Lago resort - to his golf course in Bedminster, New Jersey. Well, at least that’ll make him closer to Rikers Island - which will hopefully become his next destination. Not to mention, this move should drastically reduce his commute time for all his eventual upcoming court hearings.  The fact is, the Trump’s have to keep moving, so no one can serve them papers.  Perhaps Cher described it best when she sang - “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves.”  In addition, I’m pretty sure that all of Trump’s Florida marks, have all pretty much been milked by now anyway.  Besides, Mar-a-Logo closes down every year just after Memorial Day, due to the hot and humid weather in South Florida.  God knows all that heat and humidity must really do a number on Trump’s hairdo.  So, I guess this pretty much make...

New Findings Indicate Tyrannosaurs Likely Hunted in Packs:   Challenging long-held assumptions that the iconic dinosaurs were solitary predators, new fossils unearthed in Utah's Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument indicate that Tyrannosaurs probably hunted in packs.   The new findings could provide fresh support for the Biden administration as it considers expanding the boundaries of this once-protected area that former President Donald Trump cut in half back in 2017. Oh great - so now they tell me these monsters actually hunted in packs?   Oh how fun!  I guess that means that all my worst recurring nightmares - can now have a brand new theme.  Oh, so that doesn’t scare you at all?  Well sure, everybody thinks they’re a big tough guy, till a pack of these T-Rexes shows up down the block.  Hell, the way I look at it, about the only thing worse than being hunted down by a T-Rex - would be being hunted down by a whole pack of “We-Rexes.” Of c...